Thick Madamme is back on Trending Issues and even though she claims to be a VIRGIN, she is pretty upset with the Nigerian pastor we recently reported as having said it’s a sin to engage in any other bedroom positions apart from the old boring missionary.

Pastor Olugbenga Oladejo of the Complete In Christ Church in the UK came out with this warning. His revelations, which he shared in a youtube video and also with a Christian blog, come down to a revelation from God centred on the proper way for married couples to have seks.

First, he recounted what he saw in hell, where dead Christians who ‘defiled’ their marriage beds were being given some a-class treatment. According to him, their bodies were being chopped into pieces like how a butcher chops up meat, and then the body reforms wherein the chopping takes place again- over and over and over again.

So how to avoid this fate when you get married, which obviously is a goal for majority of the human population? According to the pastor, do not defile you marriage bed. There is one and only one approved means to give it to your wife, and that is the aptly named missionary position.

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