This piece is based on my own personal experiences so there tends to be some generalization.
Hi everybody, I am a Ghanaian lady who got married this year to a handsome, sweet and God-fearing Nigerian man. A number of people asked me if all the men in Ghana were taken but chale one cannot fight God’s will. I would not trade my husband for anything or anybody. I must say that Nigerian men are very confident and seem to be trained to take on responsibility at an early age (this is not saying Ghanaian men aren’t). They stand tall with confidence and are not fazed by hard and trying times. There seems to be a deep rooted belief that ‘one day one day’ all will be well.
I was quite surprised that my dad, who normally goes on and on with respect to his opinions, did not object to me marrying a Naija man. His first statement was “I hope you are not being pressurized to marry?” My dad and I are not really close but I loved him for that question. There I was thinking I was going to have to recruit my mom to fight this love war for me. I happily replied, “No.” He went on to ask the usual questions a father would ask and then he made another powerful statement, ” I really don’t mind if my children marry non-Ghanaians, the two most important things are the person should be honest and have a good temper”.
Wow, I was shocked that was all that mattered to him. I know my mom had already said that none of her children should marry non-believers but I was confused regards my dad’s words. I always thought he would be a bit tribalistic and worry about social status etc. His words made me realise that he may be more down to earth than he appeared. He had highlighted a fact that some women ignore. Yes, honesty and temperament does come to mind but not before looks, finances, job security and status to name a few.
Oh, so lest I forget, he also gave me examples of many Ghana-Nigerian relationships that have been successful and his one advice to me was to think of myself as a Nigerian when I relocate. It dawned on me that as humans, we react based on our experiences and beliefs as well as evidence of certain circumstances. My dad believed, tribe wasn’t an issue but rather the principles one guided his life with. His observation of successful inter-country marriages had also made him more open to the news I shared with him. All I can say is Thank God.
The pre-wedding period was not void of calamity but by Gods grace the wedding was a success. Did I mention that my maid-of-honour and I had promised to ‘whoop’ my husband and his best man on the dance floor (knowing that my husband was a total klutz at dancing). Eiiii, we received the surprise of a lifetime. My husband and I still argue about the fact that he deceived me into thinking he couldn’t dance to save his life. Naija really dealt with Ghana that day. But I give God the glory because my desire for him went a notch higher if you know what I mean.
Anyway fast forward to me relocating to Nigeria after the wedding.