Dear GC,

I’m only 25 and have been told I’m a ‘bad boy’ by not only my mates but exes too. I was never really in a hurry to settle down and hooking up and meeting girls has never been a joy for me.

I’m not trying to sound arrogant but as I am tall, dark skinned with dimples I am never short of love interests. My only issue now is I met a girl at a friend’s BBQ some weeks back and she has me trippin’ big time.

She is really the first girl I’ve met and has made me want to just stop lookin’ and chasing chicks constantly. I’ve already started calling her my girlfriend and on top of all that she is really beautiful, she’s dark like me and has a great body!

Even though it’s only been a few weeks we really get on and we try and spend as much time as possible with each other as I always want to be with her. When we met at the BBQ I told my friend I wanted to approach her, he laughed and said I wouldn’t stand a chance and I should not even bother as he knows few guys that have slept with her. I thought he was trying to put me off so he could try his luck so of course I ignored his phoney advice.

The only problem is I’m starting to wonder if he really was telling the truth about her past. We went out for drinks with my friends and another one of my pals hinted that I should be careful as he has heard she had been around with guys he knows.

I’m starting to think this can’t be just a rumour or a coincidence. I don’t want to scare her off by asking her questions and don’t want her to think I am the jealous type, as I like her and I am falling for her.

I would be so disappointed if it ends up being true. When we go out men are always trying to chat her up and from what I see she is really dismissive of the attention which makes me think it might all be rumours.

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Dear GC,

I have put myself in a very difficult situation and now I don’t know how to get out of it. I was single for almost two years before I met my man almost three years ago. As like most relationships the first year was really great between us.

He did have some controlling issues like not wanting me to go out or hang out with my friends but I thought he was putting on all those restrictions out of love. Even though we did argue about it I eventually let a lot of my friendships go.

A year into the relationship he asked me to move in with him. I was so happy about this and moved out of the flat I shared with my friend and  into his flat within a week.

After a month I started to regret my decision. He hardly stayed in, we never went out and I became a live in maid.

The only thing he seemed to want was for us to have a baby. He kept saying it would make us a family and marriage would come later. I believed him and because I was desperate to regain his attention I came off my pill two months ago and recently discovered I am pregnant.

I couldn’t wait to tell him but my boyfriend’s response was like a slap on the face. He said we cannot afford a baby as he needs to send money home to his family monthly and says I should abort!

He says we can try again next year when he will have a better job. I thought he was just getting cold feet but he is now also suggesting that I move back to my friend’s house if I don’t want to go for the abortion.

I am so scared and don’t know what to do! I feel tricked and betrayed.  I don’t know where to go or who to talk to.

Gladys

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Dear Gladys,

This is truly a dreadful way for your man to respond to the news of your pregnancy. It is both heartless and selfish. However it is now for you to also put yourself first.

He will not suddenly love you and behave himself if you do this abortion so please do not be hasty in this decision!

I can understand your fear of feeling alone but should you agree to do this, not only may you regret it but there is no guarantee he will still not ask you to move out anyway. 

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It is not easy at all. What is not easy you ask? Celibacy is not easy. I mean, abstaining from sex!

When you have no one you love or care for, you easily convince yourself sex doesn’t really matter. It’s no big deal, you say to anyone who raises an eyebrow, or asks. I am strong you persuade yourself on those nights you go out with friends to catch that romantic comedy with those beautiful love scenes.

Hmmmmm. I tell you it is not easy. Abstinence is not what nature planned for a healthy human body. You hit puberty and the hormones start raging in your system. You read mills and boon and thrills and boon and sex is this earth shattering experience. You read Joan Collins and Harold Robbins and the raunchy aspects are described in titillating detail. The blood pools in certain parts of your body and you can’t wait to meet your own love and share sex with him.

Why abstinence then? You are a teenager and your body is so ready, more than ready. But you are filled with romantic fantasies of there being just one person with whom it would be special.

You also remember all the sunday school lessons you attended and if you’re like me, what the catechist made you vow before your confirmation. The years creep by and you become mature enough to realise that you are not emotionally ready no matter how much your body screams for it. You go back to your bible roots and tap some strength from being born again.

Abstinence. Sometimes you ask yourself, what does it really mean? If you make out with your transient boyfriends, does that count? Afterall you did get some pleasure and maybe an orgasm or two from them. You recreate these episodes in your mind those days during your cycle when you are so easily aroused.

And if you’re like me you put yourself in the dock those nights you wake up horny from the erotic dreams stalking subconscious. There is afterall that guy that wanted to be your **** buddy.

The years continue to pass and you still abstain. Some of your secondary school friends get married, get pregnant and you wonder at their new found confidence. Your university mates are sexually active and talk about all manner of stuff in your presence.

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WARNING: This does not apply to exes who have children and share custody. Please look away if you have a child with your ex. But keep reading if you are willing to  agree to the points below and want to share them with your friends..

When relationships don’t go the way it is expected and you decide to go your separate ways, do you still keep in touch and try to be friends or do you become each others worst enemies in the history of mankind? Some would say being friends with your ex might not be an ideal way of moving on.

After all there is a reason why you broke up. On the other hand, why not? Now that would be civilised and a mature thing to do, wouldn’t it. Being the best of friends with someone who already knows you well can be a benefit for you, or would it? Either way, to become friends with your ex is not as straightforward as we might think. Take a good look at why you come to realise this.

Patching up the holes

Ok fair enough. Maybe you did not start on the right foot, maybe you rushed into being in a relationship and you did not take the time to know each other like you were supposed to.  So perhaps being friends with your ex, trying to understand and getting to know each other afresh will not be such a bad idea, as long as your super power abilities that  can predict that giving your relationship a second chance will work this time.

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Dear GC..

There is this guy I knew back in Senior Hight School. We got in touch recently and we started hanging out.

After spending some time together, he proposed marriage but since he has asked me to marry him I’ve not accepted his proposal.

Since spending time together we have kissed but I still don’t think I love him enough to go out with him and commit to him long term. The thing is, we are attracted to each other any time we meet.

Do I stop seeing him or do I stay to see if things work out and my feelings for him grow?

Please help me!

lily…….

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Dear Lily,

From the start it would seem very obvious and tempting for me to advise that you are not into this guy and the relationship is not worth it. The reason I am not going to give you that advice is because you and your man are the only ones who know all aspects of what is going on and I am sure you have not told me even half of the important things that are going on in your relationship.

A few things I will point out though is, I see you do go and see him again and again and you have kissed or maybe been more intimate with him. Depending on your intentions you will not do this if there was no attraction whatsoever.

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I was on weekend away and I have missed a hell of drama on here. Anyway, for those interested and those who want to know how the law works in relations to the Leila Djansi v Chris Vincent (GhanaCelebrities.Com) issue, our ping back system has lead as to an article written by an Attorney (African) of Udak Law Firm based in California, USA which looks at this issue.

Read it below…It is obvious that someone is dumb and ignorant about the law as far as the two people  are concerned (that is Chris-Vincent & Leila Djansi).

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Question of the day: Does a Celebrity have a Right to Privacy on Facebook?

UK Law Student Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri runs a very popular blog site called Ghanacelebrities.com. Although operating out of the UK, he is a celebrity African blogger.

Leila Djansi is a famous Ghanaian filmmaker who resides in Ghana. She is, from all accounts, a brilliant one too. Chris-Vincent according to Leila Djansi routinely takes Leila Djansi’s status updates from Facebook and posts it on his blog. Djansi is upset and sends a scathing email to Chris and also threatens to sue Chris for invasion of her privacy, within 24hours, if he does not take down his posts.

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Dear GC,

So far 2011 has been really good to me. I’ve just started a new job at a law firm as a Junior solicitor. I’m obviously very new so I’ve been trying to keep my head down.

The only thing is I can’t help but notice all the eligible bachelors around. I told my best pal about a guy who would be perfect for her. I’m not normally into the whole match making thing but she’s my closet pal and has been single forever. 

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Dear GC,

About six months ago I decided on a complete career change and I’m now faced with deciding whether sleeping to get a promotion with my boss would be a good or bad move. My boys are all say go for it. I need a second opinion.

I worked in the health field for three years and in the past year I’ve really hated it.  I realised I really couldn’t see myself in the same job anymore.

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Dear GC,

I’ve put myself in a compromising situation which has an easy answer if I use my head and not my heart. I’ve known my best friend since we met at college and have met her family several times. Even when we went to different universities we remained close.

I’ve spent countless nights over the years at her family’s house and get on well with her parents. I always thought her folks were the perfect couple. I’m from a single parent home so I always felt a bit envious that she has younger hip and trendy parents.

After University my friend told me her parents split. I was very shocked when I heard her mum had cheated on her Dad and she basically fled the country with her Dad’s best friend.  

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Dear GC,

It has been difficult for me to put this down but I have no option than to hide behind the computer to seek advice to a problem which is swallowing my whole personality, my today and my future.

I am a young Ghanaian of 25 years living in the United States currently studying for my master degree. My life is on a good course and I am happy about my achievements so far. My family and friends are proud of me, so is my church.

I have been told on countless occasions that I will make a good husband. My parents’ friends constantly make jovial comments like “You have to marry my daughter; you are one fine and ambitions gentleman”.

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Dear GC,

I’m writing because this dilemma needs objective advice that I know I am not likely to get from either my friends or family. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for just over 6 months and I am very happy.

I really can’t say I have much to complain about as he still treats me like we are in the honeymoon period. When we first met he really spoilt me and took real good care of me, encouraging me to follow my dreams and supporting and encouraging my decision to start my course so I could do better in life. So when he asked me to loan him quite a bit of money I really was confused as to whether I should loan it to him or not.

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I never thought I would see Bobby Brown release another track in this life time, but this is how the music industry can be, gone today back here tomorrow!  The track is ok, nothing spectacular but I guess with the right marketing you never know! Listen to ‘Get Out The Way’ and comment!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFllZX9dJ5Y

The new and improved slim and sassy lookin’ Jennifer Hudson is now working on her next single ‘Where you At” written by R.Kelly. I have to say I do love this one and she is no doubt an amazing vocalist.

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