It just don’t add up when some ladies slave and assimilate all the flaws their boyfriends wear on their sleeves but get these patterned attitudes all year round— from Christmas to New Year through to birthdays trickling down to Valentine days and other celebrating days.
Dating an emotional predator, a narcissist or anyone else who has the potential to be a toxic influence on your emotion is a devastating emotional roller coaster of highs and lows.
Although many boyfriends with patterned attitude tend to unfold and reveal their true selves long after they’ve already reeled their victims in, they master the act of picking fights with you the girlfriend when special occasions and birthdays are about to rear their heads and that can foreshadow the future behaviour you will be served.
This are some of the signs or a patterned attitude of boyfriends:
1. Demonstration of unwarranted anger.
It is an incredibly important tactic that such boyfriends use to 1) preserve their self-image and their ego, 2) project blame onto others, 3) take back control by recreating a “version of events” that makes them look superior and saintly and 4) evoke fear and intimidate others into doing what they want.
2. Addicted to provoking you.
Covert manipulators are quite gifted at provocation. As they learn more about you, they are investigating your weak spots and catering their comments towards what they know will hurt you the most.
Knowing you’re triggered by their comments gives them a sadistic sense of satisfaction that alleviates their secret sense of inferiority and strokes their delusions of grandeur, control and aptitude. Having control over your emotions also gives them the power to effectively manipulate you and convince you that you don’t deserve any better on your birthday.
3. Sarcasm.
Beware of the tactics of the covert sarcastic put-down. Sarcasm is one of the mighty weapons in an abuser’s arsenal. Emotional predators enjoy invalidating your thoughts, opinions and emotions by making frequent sarcastic remarks that shame you into never questioning them again.
Since sarcasm isn’t often considered “abusive” by society, abusers use it as a way to escape accountability for their harsh, condescending tone and belittling behaviour.
They become more and more condescending in their approach to sarcasm over the course of the relationship – what was once a “playful” sarcastic comment now becomes frequent emotional terrorism that questions your right to have an opinion that challenges theirs when special occasions are approaching.
4. Frequent disappearances.
When there is no clear sign of an occasion, the person you were dating was constantly on top of you, bombarding you with calls and texts. Suddenly, they disappear for days, only to come back again as if nothing ever happened.
These disappearances, which are often staged without convincing explanations, are a way of managing your expectations and making you “pine” for nothing on special occasions.
So my dear ladies, if you see such etchings on your minds eye, kindly understand is as a result of the special occasion or birthday about to rear its head