Growing up, sex was one subject we steered clear off, even amongst ourselves. The topic was literally a no go area. The truth is, in those days—though we were children, we were discerning enough to know the aftermath of allowing our brains harbour such diabolic thoughts.
And as if by default, anytime you luckily chance on the supposed grown ups having the “grown up” conversation, your ears would refuse to hear anything because you certainly do not want to be quizzed and frightened with the most tormenting and equally heart quacking phrases that ever walked this earth” tell me what you heard or I will tell your father”.
Meanwhile your father is that stern, no nonsense and gory eyed looking man who would not give a thought to reason before graciously slandering flogs on you indiscriminately.
These people were sheer callous, sadly we realised that rather too late. They would coax and coerce you until you spill the beans and tell your father anyway.
Sex simply was an unspoken language, funny enough everyone seemed to be getting a bang of a lifetime every now and then but these naive parents of ours thought we knew nothing. Those of us who slept with both parents in the same room always looked forward to the nights and we just wondered why they talk that loud to the hearing everyone and venture into murmurings within blinks.
The hastiness my hands used to cover my face with my eyes stealing peeps whenever there is a sex scene on the screen is something I have never gotten about to understand. Even then that the world was not this advanced in every sense of the word, we knew things and how to get our ways around getting what we want.
The story is no different in recent times and I deem it a major setback looking at all the development the world has and is seeing . Apparently Ghanaians are responsive in other developmental and enlightened angles but when it comes to having the sex talk with their children, the dark shade on this spectrum needs a rather blinding light.
I have always been strong willed when it comes to parents having the sex talk with their kids and over the years I have earned all sort of appellations and name calling all because of my openness about this said subject.
One old friend of mine ( I mean a friend who is older than me) had to live in relentless dread at the back of whether a girl she is living with is pregnant or not. Anytime I was at her end and raise the topic, she just rushes me off telling me that they are kids and do not know those stuff so I should not come and spoil her kids for her.
Just recently, she called only to tell me that her girl has been chopped down by her eldest son’s friend and surprisingly she was no virgin. It looked like I didn’t have to raise a finger, the “spoiling” was already underway. The question was how was it even possible because she was guarded and watched like a princess.
Undeniable evidence that these kids are far in the known than we have ever can imagine.
What I do not understand is why and how these parents continue to make this cardinal mistakes. It looks like they have refused to learn even through the hard way.
After much thought, I have come to understand that these are amongst the many reasons why parents have refused to have the sex talk and I stand to be corrected.
Sex Is A Taboo
Sex education has been a taboo among many ethnic groups in Ghana. Cultural and traditional practice prevents open discussion of matters relating to sexuality. In some cases, euphemisms are used to represent human organs
As I mentioned earlier, having the sex talk in the presence of your children is deemed by the typical Ghanaian parent a taboo. The thing is, most of them feel it is an act for grown ups and they find it extremely irrelevant to engage their wards in such obscene conversation .
How we are supposed to learn about it I cannot tell and it is not as if we are not going to engage in it anyway. All they can tell you once you reach adolescent age is be careful with boys thus if you are female and with the males, make sure you don not go impregnating someone’s girl child.
How are we to be vigilant about these things when presumably we do not know what to do to land ourselves in such a situation.
Feeding On A misconstrued Notion That Children Are Innocent
This has by far been the core grounds that most of our parents thrive on. They have this misconception that their children do not know nothing .
To many, they can bet their life that when the head of their children is literally open, all that they are likely to find is perhaps memories of all the cartoons they have watched, cravings for pizza and indomie and of course waking up and going to school.
The rippling truth however is, these kids are very smart and with the advent of the internet and social media sandwiched with the many Soap Opera’s running on our screens, children are exposed to varied discoveries and we all know children love to explore.
One thing that the Ghanaian parent has to realise and accept is, the kids of this generation are smart so having the sex talk with them would do a lot of good than the purported harm they have over the years imbibed in themselves.
Their Sex Life Is Dead
If a naked person says he would give you clothe, just listen to his name. It is practically close to impossible if not entirely for one who has not to promise to give.
Most of our parents have long stopped banging and those that say they are too have not any appreciable experience to want to tell others about .
I know it is not really about the many years one has engaged in the said activity but how adept you are in the field to confidently impact knowledge to the next.
A lot of our parents do not have much to offer so in order not to make a fool in front of you by fumbling, they would rather opt for the golden silence, hoping that you would sail smoothly across the sea.
Most Parents Are Shy 
For this one I need not blame them because that was how they have been raised and right up until now a lot of our parents have not been able to break that mental chain.
Some cannot see themselves seated with their child on none other topic than sex. I mean why not talk about going to church or Kumkum Bahgya  instead choose such a  rather intimidating topic.
Honestly having the sex talk is no easy task especially in this part of the world where once you decide to see things for what it is becomes a major issue. You are indiscriminately judged once people get to know how open you are about certain minimal things in life.
So imagine the christian family having the sex talk with their children— what will people say, how will people see us from hence and the many unanswerable questions contribute to parents shielding in.
Guilt That Having The Sex Talk Introduces Children To It
Most often than not, parents think the children are not in the known hence they do not want to inadvertently introduce them to it by educating them.
What they have failed to realise is the children are very much aware of the subject. I just hope in the near future , we would have a change in the way we relate with our children when the subject of sex is raised.