I was raised in a certain way. In the society that I grew up in, one is not supposed to say or do certain things around certain people. You are not supposed to answer or talk back when you are being reproached—and even that you would be damned for not saying anything to defend yourself.
Growing up, everything the elderly said was always deemed right and as a child you dare not, the thing is you have no right or whatsoever to question the judgement and rulings of the elderly. Such thoughts will not even cross your mind. Simply put; certain disciplines were indoctrinated in us and we grew up with the delusion that they were superior. As a typical Ghanaian child you become a passive audience in your own life. We grow with this timidity hanging loosely around our necks.
As a child I did then what I thought was right and as age is catching up with me I have grown to know better hence my bid to do better.
In as much as some of the values imbibed in are commendable, some I am sorry to say are far-fetched. Like not questioning someone because they are older than you or not defending or explaining yourself when you have to. That world of staying mute to suffer in silence and receive anything thrown at you has long being left behind.
A conversation between a very good friend of mine and her sister has prompted this bit.
My friend who just entered into a relationship with this young promising gentleman instead of having the usual issues that accompanies a relationship with her new love is rather having it with her elder sister. According to my friend her sister has been making constant obnoxious comments about her boyfriend. In one of her many comments, she told my friend not to entertain the guy like that and she should make sure she does not see him everyday.
Until quite recently we did not know where this conversation was headed—one Sunday on their way back from church, big sister decided to spill the beans.
She told my friend being in a relationship with just one guy is not enough, how would she get enough money—the long and short of it all is to date as many as possible to get enough money to send to their mother in the village. And that was the advice an older sister and a mother of four gave to her kid sister—and oh they were coming back from church.
Such happenings make you wonder what at all is being preached in these churches that are clustered everywhere in the country. People shamelessly drowning in sanctimoniousness and utmost hypocrisy. My friend however could not utter a word, she stared vaguely at big sister and swallowed spit.
Need I blame her?
That was how she was raised—to be respectful in matters. Not talk back or try to justify yourself in any way. Most Ghanaians have failed to realise that you can adopt prudence to be heard. You can even be rude in a very nice way but because of a somewhat fear they would sit in silence and watch people live their lives for them. And when you happen to be a maverick to such a primitive lifestyle, you are called all sort of names.
People would literally put their hands in fire because they have been told to.
Maybe I am being all judgement or maybe I am just being brutally honest. I dare to be different and I am ever ready to bear the repercussions.