6 Things Not to Do In A Relationship | A Guide from Another Woman

2. Never Bring Up the past nor hold grudges
This is a no-go area. Don’t even do it in a positive way because once you open up that area without boundaries, a negative comment can creep in. Keep the relationship you’re in now sacred and unique.
This is a major NO-NO in an argument. In a relationship, you should only be focusing on the present. No matter how brutal a fight might get, you should never bring up an event from the past. You have to leave it behind. If your boyfriend cheated on you or did something that hurt you at one point, you have absolutely no right to bring it up again and use it as ammunition. You have to leave the past where it belongs. If you forgive them for something and you both decide to move on, that means no bringing it back up, no matter how well it might work in your favor at the moment.
Another thing similar to bringing up the past is holding grudges against each other. Someone in a couple might feel justified to do something immoral just because their boyfriend did something similar before. Or they’ll refuse to do something super special for their birthday just because the other didn’t do it for them this year.
There is no such thing as keeping score in a relationship. You cannot base your actions and decisions on past occurrences. It’s unhealthy and immature. They don’t make us feel better or make the problem go away, and should be avoided at all times. A healthy relationship doesn’t hold grudges. Swallow your pride, and make it work. That’s what it’s all about.situation for the better.