It’s difficult to stay African and non-religious —you would be considered as immoral, as lost or sometimes as the real source of all the hovering ‘witchery and misfortunes.
For many Africans, religion is the fountainhead of morality and as such, without a belief in a God, there’s no way a person could be moral, faithful, kind or have some of the excellent virtues which have been successfully demonstrated by some of the well known theists and atheists.
Occasionally, family members and friends would be upset that I am not religious: sort of worried about my direction—forgetting that, I do not really recognised their sense of religious direction as worthy of anything.
The pressure and stress have been mounting and therefore a few months ago, I started looking for a religious group worthy of my membership.
It has been many hours of keen research; I have read piles of articles and scriptures on Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Taoism, Hinduism, ‘Rastafarianism’, Scientology, Traditional African religion and several of the over 4,200 religions of the world.
Yeah, you read it right—there are about 4,200 religions in the world and each considers itself as the true one religion, which made it unimaginable difficult to settle for one since I did not want to be misled by Trojans.
Today, I am glad to announce and tell all those my non-religious status offended that, I am back to religion—just that, I do not belong to any of the popular religions of the world.
I have found the one true religion; the most fun-packed and sincerest religion among the collection of thousands.
I hope my decision to belong to a fairly small religion which I honestly believe it to be the true religion does not also become a problem. After all, we have freedom as to what religion to choose…right?
I have decided to join the Church of Flying Spaghetti and will register with its Netherlands’ branch which was granted a legal religious status earlier this week—and then join interested people to set up a local branch in Ghana.
Hoe word je een kerkgenootschap? Het @fsm_nl is het in ieder geval gelukt. Zometeen in @DeOchtend@NPORadio1pic.twitter.com/jXgYrr4SB0
— Martijn Grimmius (@MartijnGrimmius) January 28, 2016
The Church of Flying Spaghetti (FSM) was founded in 2005 by Bobby Henderson, as a parody of the ridiculous beliefs of creationists.
“The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose adherents are known as Pastafarians, has won a huge victory for their relatively new religion- which is winning official recognition from the government of the land- in this case the Netherlands,” BrutallyUncensored.Com reported.
“The church has sprung up in some countries across the world, as a counter point to the ridiculousness endemic in religious belief. Even though it was set up as a parody faith, it has grown into a bigger movement of secularists and free thinkers, and they continue to win several battles, utilising the free institutionalised breaks we give the religious,” the site stated.
The church members believe that “heaven is a beer volcano with a stripper factory, while hell is the same but the beer is stale and the strippers have s*xually transmitted diseases.”
This may sound inherently ridiculous, but it’s in fact more plausible than the 77 virgins-heaven and the heaven full of angels.
The church also believes that “Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world much as it exists today, but for reasons unknown made it appear that the universe is billions of years old (instead of thousands) and that life evolved into its current state (rather than created in its current form).
There are several pieces of evidence for the existence of the FSM, one crucial one is that DNA is shaped like noodles and planets are shaped like meatballs.”
“Pretty convincing if you ask me.”
Now, what will happen over the next few months or years is that various intellectuals, secularists, agnostics, skeptics and atheists will join this church in endless court battles in various countries to have it officially recognized as a religion just as Christianity and others. And be accorded all the legal protections as well as exemptions that the many religions enjoy.
If you have a job, you can request for prayer time to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster—which is, to just go and relax with your eyes closed or to read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
In Netherlands, the church members come “together in local churches and at events— with services devoted to socialising and eating pasta as well as drinking beer and discussing faith.”
But in Ghana, we intend to meet regularly, drink some pito and chew some chinchinga—and also discuss superstition, morality as well as pray to the God of Flying Spaghetti Monster, aided by whatever trending songs of the day, including Shatta Wale’s Kaikai.
I have set up a Facebook page for The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Ghana branch. So do like it if you are interested.
I am super excited that my family and friends cannot say I am not religious any longer; I am, the only different is, I belong to a more fun church with exciting teachings and doctrines.
I can write on whatever application form or government document that that I am religious—or I am a ‘Pastafarian’ who belongs to the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Members of the church of FSM “express our faith by putting a colander on our heads”
As Godwin Nii-Armah Okine, the Religious Affairs’ Editor of BrutallyUncensored.Com noted; “Pastafarians take their official documents photos with a colander on their heads, kinda like their own hijabs. And recently, one member in the US on the right in court to use hers in her driver’s license photo, you know, deeply held religious belief and all- so even backwards evangelical USA is catching up.”
And if you are sincerely wondering why I decided to return to religion, it’s because I have found the right one and love the sense of community-ship the church of FSM tastefully serves.
LMAO!
I love this religion so I am joining too! Do we shout praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster or?
This is the coolest religion ever. Do you people celebrate Christmas and other things? If you do then count me in as a member. This is the coolest God I have ever met
Of course we do; we celebrate holidays and the fun part is; every Pastafarian is allowed to celebrate each holiday however he or she wants it. You decide on what you want to do yourself—not follow any format.
Massa, there is a GOD.
A thought, design and series of actions went into the materialization of the breakfast you consumed this morning. There is not a thing around you that didn’t originate through a conception and design process to serve the purpose it does. The marvelous universe, planet earth and everything thereis on earth did not come to existence out of material vacuum .God is the Creator.
You can choose not to be religious. You have no choice on the reality of a Creator.
The things you talked about at length in this piece all center around the canal and material existence.
Religion is about the salvation of the Soul and that profoundly transcends every case, argument and doctrinal preoccupation of yours against religion( My religion, Christianity to be specific)
I am confused as to what you are talking about because I did not state that there is no GOD. In fact, I believe there is a God—the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the creator of the universe.
He is the one my church, the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster worships; the one true God. Your religion may be the salvation of the soul or whatever, my religion, the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not about that.
And it’s the one true religion among the over 4200 religions. That is why its membership is increasing at such a high speed.
1 Corinthians 1:18-20
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.”[a]
20 Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
Romans 1:18-28
18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19 because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. 20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.
24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality,[c] wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent,
proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving,[d] unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.
I meant Romans 1:18-32
Romans 1:16
16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ,[a] for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes………
Chris this your new religion or church sounds fun. Please invite me and do I get lesbian factory at heaven too? Because it seems the men are well served but I don’t see anything in there for some of us lol