Some people usually think one is ‘stupid’ when they are helped; you buy something for them or simply make out time for them. It’s very unfortunate when people abuse your kindness but it’s sad and disappointing when they think you’re stupid and don’t know what to use your money for. People do things out ‘love’ for their partners and they in turn insult the person to friends. If the partner doesn’t do it, then the person is mean and stingy.
People abuse niceness and generosity all the time but adding insult to it is rather uncalled for. When we need help, we always go to people who we know will assist and we won’t/don’t understand the day they cannot render us any assistance. Like this person calling someone ‘stupid and not knowing what to use money for’ – I’ll find it very difficult to stretch forth my hand if this person should ask for assistance from me because I don’t know if I’ll be the next stupid person. We sometimes think we’re playing smart on people but we end up outsmarting ourselves.
Being sweet and nice all the time is not something I’ll recommend especially when your sweetness and niceness is abused all the time. Sometimes, it’s not about the giver being generous but just to be known as the sweet/nice guy/girl. Some people don’t even trust people ‘who are too nice’ due to past experiences or they not being nice themselves so they question any nice thing you do for them.
Some people (women especially) don’t ‘gift and shop’ for boyfriends for free. They are not shopping because they want to treat the guy but it’s counting towards marriage. When the relationship ends and you’re very unfortunate to sit with one, it’s always ‘I gave him money, I bought boxers/shirts/trousers and he left me to marry someone else; I did all these from the bottom of my heart. Men are wicked’.
A thing ‘done from the bottom of the heart’ is unconditional giving so using it as bait for marriage was not done from the heart. That’s why you see some men who are very wary when women give them stuff because they’ll tell you they don’t want any woman to spread the word that she put ‘panty on his butt’.
Affection, love and marriage cannot be bought with shopping. If you can’t give people things because you’re in a relationship and you won’t be prepared to part ways without calling anyone wicked or user – don’t bother; people are married to women who have never bought them trousers and they are happy where they are.
I’ve learnt some things through life experiences, curiosity and observation – not everyone deserves our kindness and generosity, it’s not everyone and everything we should tolerate to ‘be the good boy/girl’, some people, situations and issues don’t deserve our patience, it’s not every hardship and people’s excesses we should endure and keeping up an appearance to be seen as the lovable and nice person is one of the quickest route to an early grave because the people we force ourselves and shove our ‘flamboyant and look at me’ lifestyles don’t really care. Also, we pay more attention to lip service without checking if what people say correspondents to their actions.
Know when and where to show kindness and affection and when to endure, being patient and tolerant. Even though we always say we’re moving on and starting on a clean slate, we always carry over the little of what we have left after our lot was taken for granted and abused all in the name of ‘I want people to like me’! People will turn on your start button when they gain access to your money, kindness, niceness etc. but if you don’t cap it or press the stop button – it will continue.
People are generous and kind not because they are stupid or don’t know what to use their money and time for but because it’s something they were trained with. You shouldn’t always be sweet and nice – something strong should come out of you as well. It’s called balance! Some people are just opportunists. Don’t leave things too late and allow innocent people to suffer and pay for sins they didn’t commit. Some people changed because people abused their person/deeds and their spouses are paying dearly for it.