You are hurt! You’re angry! It is allowed and you can stay hurt and angry forever but it is not recommended. Excessive anger affects our health- socially, psychologically and mentally. There are people who have made anger and bitterness their middle name.
They’ve carried over their anger from childhood throughout into their adult life (those people never smile, you can crack all the jokes in this world but it never pushes them). That is the deep-seated anger they’ve harboured which is not good for the soul, it’s certainly not good for the mind, and it has greatly affected their belief system which has major knock-on effect.
While you feel you have the right to remain hurt and extremely angry, it’s also very important to remember that it’s not the fault of the person who you believe has wronged you and holding on to it and the effects of it are yours to own. Some people have left a trail of hurts on each and every one they’ve crossed path with and holding on to the hurt of this person is not worth a pinch of salt because that is who they are. Sometimes they are not even aware they have hurt or caused you pain because they leave bad impressions and bad footprints wherever they go.
The longer that you hold onto the anger and hurt, the more connected you are to the incident/person. The longer you hold onto these feelings, the less it actually is about the incident and the more it is about your own resistance to letting go. Some people are angry with their parents because they didn’t provide and offer them comfort, angry with their children for disobedience, relatives’ etc. but at the end of the day, nothing can change the fact that they’re family and what’s even the point being angry with your child and holding on to the anger for years?
We can’t pretend we’re fine when we’re very hurt or extremely angry and we are humans so we have to feel these emotions. However, we must be very much aware of the damages these can cause if and when we fail to address them properly. We shouldn’t hold on to them too tight as if our lives depends it. You do away with your deep seated anger and do YOURSELF a favour. We are supposed to take care of ourselves. Avoid ‘anger’ triggers.
We can’t start taking care of yourselves by doing away with people/situations which/ who ‘get on your nerves’ or ‘who makes your blood boil’, these people will one day turn you into a murderer because most murders were committed in anger (apart from premeditated murders). Avoid arguments and ‘conversations’ which will cause havoc or better still, walk away from such environments. When you mend relationships or get back with an ex (if you REALLY have to), there is no point in staying in or going back to a relationship with someone and you constantly remind them by rolling out your hurt and anger every opportunity you get. It’s not worth rekindling a relationship when you’re still emotionally invested enough to be pissed off?
Stop connecting to people you don’t need and want in your life – holding on to the pain and anger is a way of staying connected to the person!
Since you don’t suffer ‘fools gladly’, don’t expect anyone to suffer you (a fool) gladly – don’t provoke people to anger. Some people are well versed in provoking people to anger. The way you’ll be hurt and get angry when someone annoys, cheats, irritates and manipulates you – it’s the same way they will feel when you do same to them.
Who we are, what we are, our true state of mind and heart (in relationships, work and family setting) is unfortunately not scribed on our foreheads to know who to relate with, who to snog and who to avoid so we’re going to be hurt and angered in our journey of life; how we deal with it is what matters the most. Truth of the matter is, people and things that you are angered and hurt (knowingly or unknowingly) by have moved on or passed. It’s like you’re standing still in the past holding yourself back.
People are carrying too many excess baggage and it’s weighing them down heavily which they are very much aware of but they are not ‘ready to drop them’ and get moving. If you see someone talking to him/herself or smiling and looking at tress (not flower garden), then you know madness has started – that is the ugliness in deep-seated anger and holding on to past hurts!