….And does true love exists? Of course it exists; our parents love for us is true (unless you believe your parents are the cause of your downfall). People try to define love in their own little ways and majority of people (women especially) attach emotions into it, claiming it’s a feeling… I believe ‘love’ is a choice we make.

Our biggest asset as humans is choice – we are not beings of instinctive impulse only. We have the ability to plan, assess, analyse as well as scrutinise before we make relevant well informed and life changing decisions.

We choose to be with people -love them -to leave them. It is up to us to realise that our way of loving can imprison, destroy or bring liberty into our lives – and true love (genuinely) is not the blind type, it is true when both eyes are wide opened. Love comes under too many disguises.

Some say they love unconditionally – that’s great but then you don’t allow the other person’s condition to destroy you. If you reach out to help a person to change some lifestyle habits which does not sit well with you and they on the other hand are comfortable with their ‘condition’ regardless – it’s a choice they have made and you don’t have to be stuck with it….your happiness depends solely on you!

If we start off a relationship (marriage or otherwise), with ‘whirlwind romance/love is blind’ mantra; by the time the whirlwind settles and you acquire a pair of glasses for your ‘glaucoma’ eyes, we won’t love what we see one bit. A loving person will truthfully tell the other person why they cannot be their wife/husband because of specified reasons. That is showing true love!

Bluntly speaking, to be stuck in a non-productive, meaningless, draining, abusive, controlling and directionless relationship because of ‘love is blind’ or you’re being reminded times without number by a partner that you’re not a ‘loving person’ if you decide to walk away. The only thing you’re actually doing is committing suicide – socially, materially and freedom wise.

If our love is mostly emotion-driven, we should also involve intelligent choice making. If we involve too much ‘soap opera moments’, emotions and feelings to take the position and dominate our decision making process, we’re going to have a lot of fixing and cleaning up. When all caution is thrown to the wind by choosing to ignore glaring differences, lies, inconsistencies and some dangerous and unexplained behavioural patterns in the target of our ‘love’, because our hearts are beating like drums, we can be assured of heartbreaks, head breaks and body breaks when the drumming stops.

Quoting Davido’s ‘aye’ song ….”They say love is blind but I dey see with my eyes….” – that is the best form of love we need in this technological and modern world. We need to look very well with our eyes wide opened, embrace what we see and make – the choice part of staying with someone and be willing to work it out (commitment).

Love should be blind in marriages and not before because that is when/where you need all the patience in this world. People have lost so much, lost their sense of worth and happiness because they were caught in the web of ‘love is blind’ where foolishness was actually reigning supreme – their brain and common sense went into suspension mode and when it came back to ‘thinking mode’, they realised love is not blind after all!

But then, instead of marrying because of love, why don’t we marry to love…then we have the choice/feeling/emotion for our spouses until death do us part…..because we like people before getting involved with them…or?