It’s Either There Are More Ghanaian Women in the Cocaine Business or They Have 7 Magical Dwarfs

Punch me if you can—and don’t think I cannot land a punch on your nose too. I am not by this article suggesting that there are no hard working Ghanaian women out there. Definitely, there are several of them—and you wouldn’t need a degree in Psychology to point out these people when you come across them.

Hard working Ghanaian women who make honest living—either large or small, would not spend their entire day showing off their wealth. In fact, they will be working hard so wouldn’t have the time to be parading everything they own and those they have borrowed from others on social media or our streets.

Now that we’ve taken out the hard working Ghanaians who are constantly tired and on the run, let’s look at the reminder—a group of unemployed or partially employed Ghanaian women who live like Arab Princesses and yet we cannot trace their source of wealth.

When I examine the lifestyle and the belligerent manner these women show off whatever that they come in contact with on social media or on our streets, two things come to mind; It’s either these people are also into the cocaine trade or have 7 magical dwarfs who are constantly fetching them monies from the pockets of those working their butts off.

It’s beyond magic and science to find a person without a regular job driving expensive cars—and spending huge sums of money without thinking about tomorrow. And even when tomorrow comes, she will still have more to spend.

I don’t know of any reasonable hypothesis which could come close to establishing how this can be possible, considering the wide cry of economic hardship in Ghana.

It’s not just by chance that a certain Ghanaian woman who is known within the class of expensive ‘ballers’ was recently arrested in London with cocaine—it is possible that more of today’s Ghanaian women are into this business and their lifestyles alone should lead the police into snipping their bags.

Sometimes these new set of Ghanaian woman make people like myself feel totally useless and lazy. As I struggle each day to get into Trotro for work, they sleep till day break—and yet, they have more money than any of us can count, taking constant albeit unnecessary trips abroad.

And when it comes to shopping, as we struggle to put coins together to visit the local bend down boutique, these people pay for first class tickets to expensive places like Paris to shop—and some even take a trip to London so they can ‘shyt’ off that expensive oaths they ate.

It wouldn’t be much of a problem if these people had any known investments, family businesses or can be classified as the Ghanaian Aristocrats—they are just like every other struggling Ghanaian if you dig deep and yet, somehow, they are able to afford lifestyles which do not match their open pockets.

I know of a certain magician at Kaneshie who claims to have 12 dwarfs and one thing is for sure, he does not even drive a Tico, let alone a Range Rover. Yet, these young Ghanaian women are on a constant magical spin—turning stones into diamonds and flying first class when their 3 months salaries cannot even fly them on economy.

I may be hating because I f*cking hate my Ghanaian hustling life, made worse by the fact that my peers with two boobs and a Vajayjay just like me have somehow found the magic key to richness.

I wish they can hand over the key to me and I wouldn’t particularly have a problem with changing my life overtime if it is only magic or dwarfs. But it doesn’t seem dwarfs are capable of letting people live in mansions when they themselves live in the forest, eating some insect infected bananas.

And surely, I do not want to end up at a British prison with faulty heating systems in the winter—while eating a dry toast for breakfast. I will prefer the area Wakyee to this—and I gladly accept my small Chamber & Hall to any mansion if that will end me in England without freedom of movement.

To some extent, it is great that the cocaine dealers are being arrested—a clear indication that some of us are not lazy at all, we are just being honest in our dealings.

And the next time you see any unemployed or partially employed Ghanaian flaunting any expensive lifestyle, quickly remember that the Sugar Daddies are broke themselves—and as we’ve just established, the dwarf hypothesis is also false. One thing is more likely to be the secret cash machine—and you surely do not want to be caught with some in your bag.