Does the Commissioner of Human Rights-Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey Use the TOILET?

The first day I met the commissioner of the Commission of Human Rights and Administrative Justice-Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey, my heart jumped like a cat over the wall.

The woman is “sooooo beautifully beautiful.” Her beauty reminds me of a Kumawood movie where Lil Win and Kweku Manu were public toilet executives (let’s polish their job a little and stop calling them latrine boys. After all watchman has changed to security and ashawo has been updated to female diplomatic escorts. They are all ashawo masa.).

In the movie, anytime a nice lady came to use the facility they asked her “enti woni?” Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey is so beautiful I keep asking myself “enti ɔni anaa?” (Does she use the toilet?)

No wonder her skin looks that beautiful. Reading her profile I can tell she has and is still enjoying all the good things and times life can provide. Her father was a prominent Ghanaian diplomat. She attended Aburi Girls. She attended University of Ghana. She attended London School of Economics. She attended Ghana Law School. She chaired the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, one of the most important UN Human Rights bodies. She worked with the Minerals Commission, Valco, Ecobank, you name it and she was there.

The only thing Ms Lauretta Vivian Lamptey has not achieved in life is a house of her own. According to an interview I heard someone that sounded like her grant to a radio station, she does not own a house. Madam I beg why? I have a friend who went for sakawa and was asked not to build a house or risk dying. Even he built a house and died. Please why don’t you have a house? What do you use your money? Or are you anti house? I have a feeling this woman is lying…

Not too long ago the commissioner who amongst her responsibilities is to check the misappropriation of state funds was reported to have spent large sums of money on the renovation of her official residence. “Ei madam the concrete e be holy water they take mix am?” Or the contractor is from Mars?

As she awaits the completion of her official residence, because she does not have a house of her own she moved into a hotel which cost the nation $450.00 a night. I wonder what she was eating. Even if she was taking tapioka de Yamoransa or rice muchichi and chicken alacosa it won’t cost that much. Or will you live forever when you sleep on the hotel bed? As I write, government is supposed to pay close to Ghs200.000.00 in hotel bills for someone whose duty is to check misappropriation of state funds.

It is also very possible, in all fairness, that the commissioner does not know how much is being spent on her accommodation or the renovation of her residence. I won’t be surprised if the actual cost of the hotel is $150.00 or say $200.00 per night. Knowing my Ghana well and the kind of leaders we have it is possible that someone has connived with owners of the hotel to inflate figures for selfish gains.

Whatever it is, if the commissioner does not know how much government is spending on her and what its implications are, what is her business or moral right checking the misappropriation of state funds……?

My donkey is so high that I don’t fear “hutey.” Catch me if you can. Or I’m also fooling….? #Medaasewɔhɔ

A-Plus Corner is a regular column on GhanaCelebrities.Com written by Ghanaian comedian/musician, A-Plus (real name Kwame Asare Obeng) and it employs SATIRE but he defines the direction.

Some learn to be funny but A-Plus spends majority of his day avoiding to be funny—perhaps it is a disease but we love this disease.

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