21st Century Woman…

I was feeling very h*rny but I was also feeling very lazy. And I didn’t want to lift a very heavy thigh. I managed to raise my hand and laid it carelessly across his chest. And like clock work his eyes opened.

It really was easy getting a man’s attention I thought. One of the reasons I was definitely coming back a woman, or better still a 21^st Century Woman.

I loved my friend Sandra. She was all Ghanaian, born in James Town, British Accra lol, but bred in the United Kingdom of Great Britain, London since age twelve.

So even though Sandra hadn’t come home in almost fifteen years, girlfriend had stayed true to her Ghanaian-ness. She spoke and understood some broken Ga, loved her kenkey and fish from kenkey house and her favorite Ghanaian song was still ‘Aben wo ha’. Trust me I had told her a zillion times Ghanaians had moved on to Sarkodie and recently a slightly crazy one… uhm… oh Shatta Wale.

There was little wonder why Sandra was over the moon to come back home during the 2012 Christmas. She never stopped talking about it and honestly her friends who lived in London but had come for the occasional Christmas’ and funerals were getting tired of her ranting.

Yeah so they had enjoyed the attention the Ghanaian men gave them when they realized they were visitors in town, and the fact that everybody wanted to do things for them at family gatherings, the parties, the food, the azonto, the rasta, the weed… Oh lets not forget the fact that when they changed the mighty pound sterling to cedis they pretty much owned the town. They loved the pecks but they still hated the bad roads, the dumso’s were particularly annoying and the constant money-begging scenario was a real nightmare.

Still Sandra was the happiest person in the world traveling to a West African Country that Christmas.

I picked her up at the airport; she was in awe most of the time. She didn’t quite know what to expect so she basically just soaked it all in. Next day I went back for her at nine in the evening for a party. As usual she got all the attention on arrival. Later a man walked up and asked her to dance. She got right to it. I was a little confused at the speed at which she accepted the dance. Our Ghanaian ladies style was to decline at first and then get coxed into it gradually and then perhaps when the man got down on his knees we would… uhm go and move a muscle.

Later Sandra explained to me that refusing to dance when you were asked politely was timid and not very 21^st Century woman-like.

When we were almost out of the door Sandra’s dance partner came up and asked for her number. She was offended. The man was married. He was wearing a wedding band on his finger. Sandra asked why he wanted her number and my Ghanaian Chief said he liked her and wanted to date her. And through out the bait Chief made sure his Range Rover car key dangled from one finger to the next.

Two weeks later as I drove Sandra back to the airport to catch her return flight to the UK, I recounted the lessons she had instilled in me as a 21^st Century Woman since she’d been in Ghana.

• It was rude and erroneous for a married man to ask a 21^st Century Woman out and for her to accept. The fact that these Ghanaian men were so blatant and irresponsible about it showed how unsophisticated our Ghanaian women had become.
• If a woman accepted money and gifts to be with a man then she was no different from a paid s*x worker. A 21^st Century woman sought a well paid job, bought things for herself and put herself in a position that enabled her to choose the men she wanted to be with.
• A 21^st century woman approached the men she thought were her type and actually struck up conversations with them. She chose her men before they chose her.
• She was strong, opinionated and had a firm handshake. A weak handshake meant a woman needed taking care off and was prepared to take anything thrown at her.
• A 21^st century woman was abreast with international news, glanced through the wall street journal and entertained some knowledge about the stock market. She cared about sports, politics and free speech. If the 21^st Century woman wanted to attract a smart enlightened guy she had to ooze the same aura. And any guy who found her intimidating was just not the guy for her. Period!
• The 21^st Century woman loved s*x and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. She won’t allow a guy to live his fantasies with her whiles she kept her fantasies locked up in the cupboard. She was allowed a ‘selfie’ s*x session every once in a while. Laying back and getting satisfied without necessarily returning the favor was not a crime. In fact she deserved it. After all there were going be many days when she was not in the mood to give but would have to just to keep the peace.

After I had successfully completed my cum’ I laid back ready to sleep.

He looked at me like I was crazy and slowly led my hand to kojokrom.

I turned to him and said it was going to be one of those selfish nights. Did he mind?

He smiled and said he understood.

3am… I could hear noises from the living room.

I tiptoed to the door and peered inside.

Dude was watching p*rn and getting himself off.

I wasn’t sure what to feel…I was faced with 21^st Century problem.

“Thelma Louis” is a GhanaCelebrities.Com weekly column with no borders on the speed and distance it will take your imagination, while tackling some of our everyday issues—in reality and in fantasy.

All Thelma Louis’ write up will be filed under her name column-Thelma Louis.