Dear GC, Girlfriend is BLEACHING Heavily| Can I Leave Her Because of This Since She Does Not Want to Stop?

Dear GC Readers,

First of all, let me state that I do not want anyone to think I am an ungrateful human being but the truth is, this bothers me a lot and I have been pushed to the wall.

I came to Holland about 4 months ago to study for my Masters degree and without my girlfriend who already lives here, my trip would not have been possible. She helped with the fees payment and because she is here, I did not have to worry about accommodation and general support.

Each day, I express how thankful I am to her and even though I have not found a part time job yet as planned, I help her on days that I am not going to classes with her 3-year old child at home, so she can go to work and not pay another person to look after her.

I met my girlfriend nearly 2 years ago when she visited Ghana. Her smile pulled me to her and though that was not important at the time, she had a beautiful dark skin. I guess I loved that too.

Soon as she returned to Holland, we started talking a lot and things got serious. She visited again and this time she came to visit me. We spent a lot of time together and that was when we talked about joining her out here in Holland as a Masters student.

To cut long story short, I almost fell dead on the floor when she came to pick me up from Amsterdam Schiphol Airport. The dark Ghanaian girlfriend I fell in love with and was looking forward to spend the rest of my life with looked like a mixed race.

I didn’t say anything about how much she has changed in complexion for 3 days and when I brought up the discussion, she said to my face; ‘is it your skin? I have not bleached, I have just toned by skin’.

She went on to say, if I see a bleached person, can’t I see? Asking me if she looked bleached or not? I have seen the creams she uses, she uses these QE+I creams which she add certain liquids and for the last 3 months, I literally fight her each day about her skin colour.

To be frank, I am tired. She does not want to stop what she is doing and I can’t present her to my friends in the future if this continues. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable in her presence.

My worry is; can I leave the relationship and find my way out of this place considering what is going on? I don’t want to be called a bad or ungrateful human being but I can’t see myself living with her this way for the rest of my life.

The thing is, those creams are very expensive too and yet she continues to buy them even when she needs money for other important things. What should I do? I’ve come to love the baby and I think about her a lot when I contemplate about walking away too.

From: Daniel O./Holland

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