Dear GC Readers,
First of all, let me state that I do not want anyone to think I am an ungrateful human being but the truth is, this bothers me a lot and I have been pushed to the wall.
I came to Holland about 4 months ago to study for my Masters degree and without my girlfriend who already lives here, my trip would not have been possible. She helped with the fees payment and because she is here, I did not have to worry about accommodation and general support.
Each day, I express how thankful I am to her and even though I have not found a part time job yet as planned, I help her on days that I am not going to classes with her 3-year old child at home, so she can go to work and not pay another person to look after her.
I met my girlfriend nearly 2 years ago when she visited Ghana. Her smile pulled me to her and though that was not important at the time, she had a beautiful dark skin. I guess I loved that too.
Soon as she returned to Holland, we started talking a lot and things got serious. She visited again and this time she came to visit me. We spent a lot of time together and that was when we talked about joining her out here in Holland as a Masters student.
To cut long story short, I almost fell dead on the floor when she came to pick me up from Amsterdam Schiphol Airport. The dark Ghanaian girlfriend I fell in love with and was looking forward to spend the rest of my life with looked like a mixed race.
I didn’t say anything about how much she has changed in complexion for 3 days and when I brought up the discussion, she said to my face; ‘is it your skin? I have not bleached, I have just toned by skin’.
She went on to say, if I see a bleached person, can’t I see? Asking me if she looked bleached or not? I have seen the creams she uses, she uses these QE+I creams which she add certain liquids and for the last 3 months, I literally fight her each day about her skin colour.
To be frank, I am tired. She does not want to stop what she is doing and I can’t present her to my friends in the future if this continues. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable in her presence.
My worry is; can I leave the relationship and find my way out of this place considering what is going on? I don’t want to be called a bad or ungrateful human being but I can’t see myself living with her this way for the rest of my life.
The thing is, those creams are very expensive too and yet she continues to buy them even when she needs money for other important things. What should I do? I’ve come to love the baby and I think about her a lot when I contemplate about walking away too.
From: Daniel O./Holland
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Quick leave her bleached a.ss dont think twice Mr
This is a tough one. I was in the same situation so I can feel your pain. In my case, I confronted my ex girlfriend about her change of complexion and she said she was using a toning cream therefore it is not considered bleaching. You know the sad truth is that women nowadays will never admit to bleaching. The new name for bleaching is skin toning. Anyway, I bluntly told my girl that I’m not pleased with her new complexion and I need her to stop using whatever cream she was using. I gave her an option to either keep her creams or keep me. Needless to say, she kept me. I understand every situation is different. Mine was easy because I didn’t receive any financial benefits from my girl to tie me down or make me feel guilty by walking out of the relationship. But your situation is kind of complicated. I have a suggestion though, I know it may sound crazy but try it and see. Tell her that you want to discuss something very important with her. If you get her attention, tell her that you heard smoking marijuana is good for the brain so you want to start smoking. Once you finish saying that to her wait for her reaction. I can almost guarantee you 99.99% that she will not agree with your decision. If that happens to be the case, use the situation to your advantage by telling her how you feel about her decision to bleach her skin. When you’re talking to her please don’t make it sound like you are only advising her to stop because you don’t like women that bleach. Look, women like to be pampered sometimes. So say it in a romantic way, in a way that will touch her heart. Let her know how much you care for her. Remind her that, her dark complexion is what draw you closer to her. Tell her about the long term implication of skin bleaching. I can assure you that she will listen to you. However, If she gets mad at you and break up with you, at least no one can blame you. In that case you will not feel bad walking away. Good luck!!
Eish lately dieh you woke up good from the slumber paaa ooo. Now wisdom is flowing through you. Infact i never voted u up before this time around i will do so. Good comment and example though. Kudos
Hahahaa…. Bernice paa, no comment.
Hmmmmm this bleaching issue…my dear leave her wai becz if u don’t like her bleached skin, nothing will make you like it even if it takes forever and the fact that her dark skin is what attracted you makes the situation worse…naturally am attracted to well-built men who are fair (natural fair skin)…if a man doesn’t fit this description, no matter what he does for me, i will never be attracted to him….Follow your heart but also take ur brain with you ok