**NEW COLUMN: I Hate Mondays! So Much It Affects My Sundays

First, why do people think if I couldn’t perform a task or finish a problem by Friday 5pm, I will have a different answer by Monday 8am?

This particular Monday morning I had decided to take matters into my own hands and change my fate. At 7.30am I started calling everybody I expected will call me at 8.00 to give them a dose of their own medicine.

Everybody was shocked including my boyfriend who promised to come by the night before but didn’t show, didn’t call… I wanted to be sure he didn’t die on his way to see me. Better tell him I was quitting my job before he beat me to it and told me he had a bad stomach ache… His third excuse in the past two weeks. I had made a mental note to check my red book to see if it was pre-break up sign.

I crawled out of the bed I spent my entire Sunday in.

My knee gave a funny sound… Hmm I am thirty-seven, people say I look young for my age. Tell that to my knee who could barely support my skill last time I was trying to perform a sit across dance for my boyfriend during our lovemaking. Oh why are men getting so lazy in bed? The dude just wanted to lie there… A sheepish smile on his face suggesting he was enjoying my wriggles whiles I kept thinking I need me a younger man who will be more than happy to please me in bed.

Mondays… The sun is out too early, everybody is in a hurry to nowhere and Accra has a stench from all the rubbish people pushed out of their homes over the weekend. I made a mental note to vote anybody but this government in the next election. I grew up loving Rawlings. Why the hell not. The man was damn charismatic, he may not have been the most intelligent as the opposition kept telling us but he put his money where his mouth was. He took decisions, the good, the bad, the ugly. These days I forget who is in charge, AMA or the young man knocking relentlessly on my window asking me to buy ‘yooyi’ for breakfast.

I got to Mtn and told the lady I was changing my chip. She asked why and I thought to myself why don’t I just switch? My friends and I complain bitterly about this network and their horrible service but we never switch. Is it just the attitude of Ghanaians to complain and do nothing? Or maybe the other options aren’t really better options? I mean my Internet powered by Vodafone is hardly ever working and last time I bought an airtel chip to travel with they kept hounding me with promotions without connecting my calls.

My boss called, he wanted to know if I had lost my mind, quitting on a Monday of all days. I decided he was upset his promises of a better pay and better working conditions at the last staff meeting didn’t work its magic on me this time. I had waited eight years for the magic to take effect, apparently I will have better luck with the security man trying to get me parking at Frankies.

I looked him over once more. He was fine. Tall, strong arms, white teeth. For the 100th time that year I wondered what it would be like to have the security man at Frankies lie on top of me. He smiled. I climaxed. This Monday was definitely better than the last. The security man at my office creeps me out. And he never smiles. In my life before I must have done something really bad to him because he didn’t hide his distaste for me. Anyway that won’t matter anymore. This one at Frankies I must have been lovers with. My phone rang, my chip was buzzing again. ‘Dad died’ my sister cried on the other end of the phone. I looked up to the 2pm sun of my Monday… Oh I hate Mondays I thought it out loud.

‘Dad’ wasn’t my ‘dad’ as my sister may have suggested. It was her ailing husband. And I wondered again why do women call their husbands ‘daddies’ ? No wonder they are dying on them.

I sat back in my car and headed north… My boyfriend called, he had a surprise for me. I hope he wasn’t going to ask me to marry him. I had decided that Monday morning I was in love with Abigail. Now here goes the story of my life. I had fallen in love with my best friend and the world was about to cast me away.

“Thelma Louis” is a new GhanaCelebrities.Com weekly column with no borders on the speed and distance it will take your imagination, while tackling some of our everyday issues—in reality and in fantasy.

All Thelma Louis’ write up will be filed under her name column-Thelma Louis.