THE BIG QUESTION: Are Arranged Marriages Better than Love Choices of Today? | My Mother Says YES…

Starting some three to five years ago, there was a sudden competition among my peer group. A sudden keen race to see who will outdo the other—the competition of marriage. Everyone was announcing their wedding dates with excitement. It was the ultimate endorsement. Better than a job, school or any purpose.

Fast-forward to a few years ahead and ninety percent of them have loudly or quietly divorced. Some shameless enough to go through ugly court battles, custody struggles and paternity tests.

What happened to the love? The love they picked themselves and proclaimed to stand by.

I personally think the youth of today have lost track when it comes to truly loving and being with someone. And as I was discussing this sad trend with my mother about all these stories, she said one thing that has gotten me thinking for many days.

She said arranged marriages were the best thing that ever happened to the youth because most are simply clueless and marry for the wrong reasons. So I said mummy, BUT WE HAVE TO LOVE OUR PARTNERS!!

And she said “that’s where you are wrong, love grows!’”

Then she told me an old story of our neighbour who lives three houses to the left right on our lane, Auntie Gifty. She said you see how auntie Gifty lives happily with her husband after 36 years of marriage? And she loves him with her life but if I tell you she never loved that man when she married him will you believe me?

Of course I wouldn’t! But apparently, auntie Gifty was twenty two years old when her parents arranged a marriage between her and her husband. She was seeing a different young man by then and cried so long about how she hated her husband and didn’t love him and did not want to marry him. But less than a year after the marriage, she totally forgot about her boyfriend which was for a good reason because he didn’t even turn out well.

And you know what, she believes now that marrying her husband was the best decision she ever made and she will kill any other woman she finds near her husband because she has grown to love and respect him. When we were younger, we laughed at many of our mates who married arranged partner, today, their unions have flourished more and lasted longer than most of the ‘crazy in love’ ones.

The thing is, your parents opinions in a life partner are very important because they have lived life and they want the best for you so they always go for more responsible, decent and enduring partners for you. Most arranged marriages hardly end in divorce as much as all these ones who claim to love each other. When you even hear the reasons why most young people fall in love, you can just look ahead into the future and see many problems.

Well, it is hard to argue with her given the many bad examples I have seen but what do you think? Are arranged marriages truly better than the choices of most young people?