Starting some three to five years ago, there was a sudden competition among my peer group. A sudden keen race to see who will outdo the other—the competition of marriage. Everyone was announcing their wedding dates with excitement. It was the ultimate endorsement. Better than a job, school or any purpose.
Fast-forward to a few years ahead and ninety percent of them have loudly or quietly divorced. Some shameless enough to go through ugly court battles, custody struggles and paternity tests.
What happened to the love? The love they picked themselves and proclaimed to stand by.
I personally think the youth of today have lost track when it comes to truly loving and being with someone. And as I was discussing this sad trend with my mother about all these stories, she said one thing that has gotten me thinking for many days.
She said arranged marriages were the best thing that ever happened to the youth because most are simply clueless and marry for the wrong reasons. So I said mummy, BUT WE HAVE TO LOVE OUR PARTNERS!!
And she said “that’s where you are wrong, love grows!’”
Then she told me an old story of our neighbour who lives three houses to the left right on our lane, Auntie Gifty. She said you see how auntie Gifty lives happily with her husband after 36 years of marriage? And she loves him with her life but if I tell you she never loved that man when she married him will you believe me?
Of course I wouldn’t! But apparently, auntie Gifty was twenty two years old when her parents arranged a marriage between her and her husband. She was seeing a different young man by then and cried so long about how she hated her husband and didn’t love him and did not want to marry him. But less than a year after the marriage, she totally forgot about her boyfriend which was for a good reason because he didn’t even turn out well.
And you know what, she believes now that marrying her husband was the best decision she ever made and she will kill any other woman she finds near her husband because she has grown to love and respect him. When we were younger, we laughed at many of our mates who married arranged partner, today, their unions have flourished more and lasted longer than most of the ‘crazy in love’ ones.
The thing is, your parents opinions in a life partner are very important because they have lived life and they want the best for you so they always go for more responsible, decent and enduring partners for you. Most arranged marriages hardly end in divorce as much as all these ones who claim to love each other. When you even hear the reasons why most young people fall in love, you can just look ahead into the future and see many problems.
Well, it is hard to argue with her given the many bad examples I have seen but what do you think? Are arranged marriages truly better than the choices of most young people?
that is soo true. most people will not acknowledge it but the arranged marriages are far better than the ones we claim we love. the basic principle is to be friends with your partner instead of exploring each other’s bodies first and that’s what basically arranged marriages do.
i agree with the woman….
I know the choices some women make now adays is shallow which means their relationships are not deep and they break down quick. However, I will never trade choice for arranged marriage or anything like that. We just have to evaluate the things we base our choices on and find deep things to make choice on. Arranged marriage is not the way forward. So as a lesbian, will my parents also look for a partner for me? Hell no
Akosua, I understanad your point. and there are many young choices that last but you know the majority always end over very flimsy problems that can be worked out. And there are many problems that you will not be able to solve without the help and backing of elders. A marriage is bigger than two people.
Also, some young people are very immature and will get married for reasons that do not last so what happens when those reasons fade? I think most parents mean well when they choose partners for their children. But your own choice can be very good too. Personally though, I will hesitate if my parents both do not support my choice. There must be a good reason.
As for the gay partners. hmm! You know our parents will never even support being gay let alone to choose a lesbian or homosexual partner for you. So gay people are on their own in this case. hahaha! I do not know how theirs work but most of them cheat a lot and break up.
You have a huge problem.
Arranged marriage is not my style, my family in the u.s tried hooking me up with some man and i rejected. I rejected because we didn’t had none in common. He had a strong commanding tone and sex was the daily discussion. I felt i was being too cheap entertaining him. Arranging of marriage is back
nope, wait until you are old enough to make a sound decision, and God leads the right partner to you. Have patience.God created marriage and not society he knew what he was doing by placing two hearts together as one. You should have the love of Christ for your partner. Husbands should love their wives and Christ loves the church.