Over time I’ve realized that we as humans only get/have one chance to make the decisions that will clear the path for our entire future; when we allow anyone else play an ‘insignificant’ role in them by competing with them to score points. Sometimes, we love to believe we’re not like everybody but the truth is we search for individual ways to fit in – no matter how unhealthy the journey is. Why don’t we ‘own’ and do things because we want to and enjoy them but not because we also have to fit in?

People who stand out are very comfortable with who they are. They celebrate their uniqueness (what others may call weird) and allow their individuality to shine. To them life is not a competition and they are not in competition with no one. They don’t agree with the majority, keep quiet or go along with people’s opinion and they are not bothered to be labelled an outsider.

It’s this ‘me too’ syndrome that is causing so much social vices in society. It feels like one needs to be in competition with someone but in the long run, you realise that you were/are actually in competition with yourself. Funny enough, a person who wants to acquire and do all the things to ‘belong’ don’t even have the means. It’s just unfortunate they rather realise too late that they are not in competition with nobody and should have learnt to conduct their affairs in like manner!

When you belong to a church with many young ladies, you somehow join the ‘me too’ train – acquiring the latest clothing, bags and shoes (oh ladies, shoes we cannot even walk in). Things ideally we should not be found dead wearing them, we do, because A, B and C owns it. We tend to forget we cry alone, suffer alone and will be broke alone (unless there’s an ever generous man who is ready to foot the bill). If you buy things you don’t need, you’ll soon start selling off your valuables (that is if you have any) when you are in dire need of money.

Life will become less stressful, if we understand that we are not in competition with anybody and it is not a must to fit in. How we think others perceive our status in life is purely our own opinion – most people don’t care. People only begin to notice you when you start being in ‘their face’ with your ostentatious lifestyle. You then have to keep up with that lifestyle because if/when the ‘down fall’ happens, it can’t go without attention.

We’re supposed to be different. We’re supposed to transcend but how do we achieve that if we’re all doing the same thing as everybody else? We have to take the road less travelled. When you refuse to fit in, you’re tagged an outsider…. But hey, being an outsider isn’t a bad thing – that makes you stand out of the crowd!

If people don’t understand you most of the time, it’s fine but it becomes a problem if you don’t understand yourself because the more you do things differently, the more people will not understand – that’s their problem, not yours. If our thoughts and opinions are validated by how many people agree with us – that’s not standing; that is fitting in!

Do you go by the flow or you make your own way?