In some relationships, one person is self-centred and the other is best described as the empathetic one. The self-centered one feels he/she is the other person’s ‘last stop’ so they leave and return at will while the empathetic one is ever ready to allow them into their lives again—and again. Most of the reappearing acts are done because of selfish motives or whether we’re returning because we think there might be a real chance at a lasting “we” this time.

The only genuine and rare reason for an ex to reappear is when he/she feels a loss when the relationship ends. Sometimes, (without really realizing), a woman/man can carve out a perfectly round little space in people’s hearts and lives. They experience a great loss and try as they may to fill that round spot he/she left with the square pegs of another woman/man or other women/men, there’s always a certain amount of emptiness that remains. And then they decide to give it another go. All they can do is reappear and hope their spot is still reserved.

Most exes re-appear not because they are in love but because they are addicted to it. They are not comfortable being alone – they love fantasy more than reality. They cannot ‘afford’ to be single for even a month (or less) – they are in love with the idea of (being in) love (someone should be in their life as a sort of validation); so if the other person is still single, they get back together (for now) and when another comes along, they leave. Fortunately for them, the other is ever waiting with open arms. They go and come at will.

Sometimes an ex reappears (men especially) because they’re just being manipulative – they just want to exert some unhealthy amount of control over the women they’re dealing with. Not all women love to be controlled so when they get new ‘uncontrollable catch’, they quickly run back to the ex but in relationships where one can control the other, it makes it impossible to build any sort of lasting relationship; so he didn’t reappear because he loves the person but that is where he can display his valuable talent – manipulation and control.

We sometimes have relationships with people who become lumps in our throats, we can’t swallow them neither can we ‘vomit’ them out; and it gives us sleepless nights – an extreme case of toxic relationship with toxic people. There is no future in toxic relationships and with toxic people. You keep believing the half-truths and empathise with excuses which can go on for years. You waste so many years on broken promises and one way patterns.

Relationships don’t end for nothing – they do because of something. Breaking up and coming back does not change situations in anyway. The early days of reunion are the ‘days of passion’; when the period phases out – déjà vu!

Letting go of someone or something is the best thing that you can do for your soul – when the wrong people leave your life, the right things start happening/the right people will come in. Don’t fall in love with the idea of (being in) love and keep breaking up and making up with the wrong person. Exes are ex for a reason!