Kindness/being nice has become so rare that people mistake it for flirting (it happens both ways). People mistake kindness for flirting all/most the time. A man saying just a hello or complimenting a woman on her fashion sense/hairstyle or even a smile sends wrong warning signals to her brain.

Some thoughts such as ‘are you sure you’re not interested in what lies underneath’ or ‘he wants someone to warm his bed’ starts running through her mind. Sex propositions are veiled against majority of men whenever they interact with a woman because in a woman’s world, a man cannot pass a compliment just for anything but a stepping stone to what he is after.

It is not only men whose niceness gets mistaken for flirting but women also experience the ‘she is hitting’ on me vibes. It seems  you cannot talk to a guy and smile at him and have a general conversation without him thinking you’re into him. It is sad because sometimes you just want to be friends with people but it gets all awkward when they strongly believe you’re flirting with them. If you’re friendly to them, they think you want them or you’re the next ‘available’ woman who is in dire need of a husband.

There are people who are naturally good to others. Genuinely nice and helpful/ but people have mistaken their kindness to mean something else. Such people then become wary of being ‘being too good/nice’. As some people say (especially women) ‘there is no one who would do something with no hidden intentions.’ Kindness is a virtue but sometimes it comes with so much confusion.

When some guys offer to pay for a plate of food or drink for a lady, it is an indication that a relationship has started (mostly Ghanaian guys). They then wonder why the lady is not reciprocating his ‘feelings’ – when in reality the lady innocently accepted the offer as an act of kindness. Sometimes, one is tempted to ask if she should pay back the money (for a bowl of TZ).

As adults one can always tell when one is just nice/friendly/kind and when one is flirting. Some men can undress you with their eyes and that is the type you run away from. Meeting a lady and complimenting/calling her ‘hot’, ‘sexy’ is not really being nice but downright flirting. There is so much more to a man/woman than what is in-between their legs. Sometimes, all a person is looking for is a nice friendship without the expectation of how he/she can “rock my world” or laid out ‘sexual fantasies’ because of a just a smile, compliment, a hello and kindness or even paying for a plate of food which is not going to make one bankrupt!