It is rather unfortunate that some women are accepting domestic violence in this day and age. I felt quite sad when I was informed that Black Stars defender, John Paintsil has assaulted/stabbed his wife for whatever reason.
And I became angry when the wife denied the fact that her hubby has assaulted her. For that denial alone, she is saying that the man has the right and is right to abuse her.
Abuse in any form is totally wrong-be it physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological. This includes any behaviour that frightens, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
A matured person will always know how to handle anger issues, no matter how your spouse pushes you to the wall. The moment it gets physical, the person needs help.
There shouldn’t even be a first time, because if it happens once and you don’t curb it, the act will repeat itself. Don’t be quite, grin and bear it, speak up, seek help. People are being abused and they’ve kept quiet. I’m not focusing on gender, because abuse is happening both ways now (both men and women).
Everybody is quite on domestic violence; somehow, some churches are not helping, they tend to walk on egg shells because they can’t tell you to leave. When you seek for help, it feels like you’re betraying your partner. No matter who the person is or what the person does, never, ever accept it, even if your whole world depends on the person (and that shouldn’t be, anyway).
A man tried committing suicide after beating his wife to death. The woman was complaining to her Pastor about her husband’s beating and the pastor kept quoting the bible and helping in prayer, advising the woman as to how our Lord hates divorce, until the poor woman was beaten to her grave. Her husband tried committing suicide, but death evaded him and the Pastor voluntarily gave up his pastoral duties, because he felt responsible for her death. This was shared with us in a women’s group by a Pastor’s wife so we can stand up against domestic violence.
“The Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MISC) conducted by Ghana Statistical Service in 2011 and released last month (Dec 2012) has revealed that 60% of women hold the view that, husbands are justified in beating their wives, for a variety of reasons. The survey also indicated that domestic violence was 70% in the rural areas and in the urban areas, 51%”.
This figure is extremely high, be it rural or urban. And to even think some women think their husbands are justified in beating them is extremely sad. If the women are going to always cover up when they are punched and stabbed, then what is the use of DOVVSU and other NGO groups who are fighting tooth and nail to stamp out violence?
And for the women who think men are justified to beat them, they need to have their heads thoroughly examined or better still, check them into Asylum Down.
As a woman I am glad John Pantsil has spent a night in jail, It will be good if he remains there till Monday before bail is granted to him. I hate it when some African men think they are above the law and have no use for their women-except of course as punching bags.
Dear Madam Writer: You’re absolutely right. No man has the right to abuse a woman & it’s sad that our mothers & grandmothers have taught us otherwise with the ‘give it to God’, ‘every marriage has problems’ attitude which has made a lot of people shield their abusive spouses. However, I’d plead with you not to be too angry with the women who stay. You see, one thing about abuse is that the abuse isolates you & destroys your self esteem to the point that you think staying with him is your only choice. Also, statistics say 70% of abusers kill their victim AFTER she leaves them meaning that leaving an abusive husband could actually lead to your death! Moreover, there are few shelters in Ghana (Ark Foundation has one) & so where will abused women go? Please google “Leslie Steiner TED talk” & watch the video of an educated woman who found it difficult to leave her abusive husband. It would educate you as to why abused women stay.
This is the reason I love Anerica law you can get away with that nonsense a man that beats his woman is not a real man and has never respected his own mother
Slightly, Okay very disappointed with the naivety of the writer. Maturity has nothing to do with beating your wife. Historically violence against women, stems from the ideology that women are possession of men and should therefore submit to them. In modern day Ghana, this violence occurs because a men like to remind women of their dominance over them.
“they need to have their heads thoroughly examined or better still, check them into Asylum Down”. The implication that such women are stupid, absolutely infuriates me. Instead of sending these women to ‘asylum down’ like you say, don’t you think education is the way forward. After all the survey identifies the disparity between urban and rural areas, only 29% of women in rural areas are literate with only 3% having secondary school education according to the Ghana statistical service. The same survey states “attitudes of acceptance of beatings by husbands decreased, based on the women’s educational level”.
John Paintsil’s wife probably denies all of this not because she thinks he is right to abuse her, but mainly because she has nothing else to do but to stay with him. After all the say do not bite the hands that feed you.
And this brings to my final most important point, that women in Ghana must become more financially independent of their husbands, I believe women should be educated and have a career of their own. This independence obviously does not stop a man from still hitting you, but it gives the means to be able to walk away.
I loved the feminist movement, but these days it slightly misandrous. But I’d still urge every woman to fight for equality. The world has come too far for women to still be seen as inferior to men.
@dove, “the implication that such women are stupid absolutely infuriates me” so dont you think such women are stupid? I bet that wasnt the first time he has beaten her.
@B.B, I love that out of my comment you picked that line, but anyway, i’ll explain why such a woman isn’t stupid. Women, who think they are the properties of their husbands are told they must be subservient to their husbands thus they find that whatever treatment they receive from their husbands is totally acceptable. Such a woman sees her disobedience to her husband as a justifiable reason for her husband to beat her, although wrong but perfectly logical. My whole point is that instead of us all sitting on our high horses and calling these women stupid, we should educate them, because it is only through that they will finally realise that no man has the right to beat her.
Let us not act as a man beating in woman in Ghana is alien, it is something that has happened for generations and is still remnant in society today.
It has been inplanted in her head that without him and his millions, she is nobody. it’s so sad cuz I know he is not gonna stay……how come it’s always fianga BOYS
I agree with some of the above views. Its all about education and financial independence especially in Ghana. As to the question why people stay in abusive relationship or why some people allow domestic violence is very broad. Take Ghana for instance, could it be partly the way we raise children? Cos our society allows childre n to be beaten. The lil girl who grew up being beaten by parents is likely to accept her husband hitting her as normal especially when thinks she disobeyed or disrespected her.
I wouldn’t let my argument with my husband get to the point where he will abuse me(in any form), However, if it happens, i will never deny it because what went wrong has to be corrected to prevent it from happening again….I was very shockprised when i listened to John Paintsil’s wife denying it….