You can call me anything you want and feel the highest pity for my girlfriend but then that is what it is…
With time, if our relationship ‘graduates’ to become husband and wife, the above entrenched principle will still stand. I will never pay for the cost of weaves or wigs for my woman. I will be extremely proud if my sisters’ boyfriends and husbands do the same.
I am not going to blame it on how expensive weaves or wigs are because that will be reducing the importance of my standing to pettiness. I can certainly afford every weave or wig I know of, except there are ones being sold at 100 thousand pounds. But I will never contribute a penny on these things for my girlfriend and she herself knows this.
I will never ask a woman to give up her taste and lust for weaves so as she can pick up the confidence she has lost in her natural hair, but then why must I contribute towards financing these ‘shallow’ habits.
I got extremely upset and could not believe the level of naivety which has come to live with certain women of today when several young women on social media platforms like Twitter failed to see the high achievements of 16 year old American double Olympics medal winner-Gabby Douglas.
Instead, black women who are reported to spend substantially more money on weaves and wigs in the world than any race lambasted her for proudly wearing her own natural hair. (Click Here If You Are Interested In Gabby’s Issue). Some black women spend more on their hair than saving for their own future.
The reason why I have never and will never contribute to any woman’s weave or wig wearing enterprise is that, I find self confidence the strongest of all human virtue. You can disagree with me but those weaves or wigs come to me as lack of self confidence in what you naturally have.
Again, if you want to wear some horse tail hair, why must I pay for that as your boyfriend or husband? Same way I will not pay for cigarettes for anyone because of my moral standing on smoking and the health complications, I dare lower the damage these weaves and wigs do to the confidence of women or their natural hair and be a financier.
Have you realized that wearing weaves and wigs have become customary while rocking natural hair has become an abnormality? When a woman wears a weave or wig, no exceptional glances are given to her but try walking down the street confidently with your natural hair as a woman and see the weird looks you will receive. When did the tables switch without notice?
My point is and has always been that, I will never help any woman pursuit her ‘shallow’ habits when there are genuine alternatives which can be fully embraced to enhance self esteem, growth and healthy living. However, if you believe in any of these things as a woman and you want to chase them; good luck with it and make sure you are paying for your one-dimensional enterprise.
No disrespect to the many women who have found pride, beauty and confidence in weaves and wigs. For equal minded men like me, these things tell us about the emptiness beneath the bottle and the level of self hate that engulfs your personality. When did we begin to find ourselves so imperfect to the extent that some women cannot ever show their own natural hair?
Any effort to become someone else is a total waste of the person you are…Go for it but then don’t ever expect men like me to care about or finance them.
Take a minute to imagine a world without all these weaves and wigs?
Whatever your take is on this, I’d love to hear it…
READ ALSO: See What Has Happened To Naomi Campbell’s Hair Because Of Weave
I’ll marry you!
First of all most of the things you mentioned are true especially the part about when you wear your natural hair, people start looking at you strange when in fact that should not happen. When you wear weave or wig, you should be looked strange rather but society has come to accept that as normal and natural hair as weird and abnormal.
Also I understand some women will use their last money to buy weaves even if they have not fed their children or have no savings.
However this is not our fault. I wear weave because why will I not also try and look good when everyone is looking good in it or wearing it?
I did not know black women spend more on weave than any other race. thanks for education. I will not even doubt that because everyone has it.
With the issue of self confidence, I have not looked at it that way but I guess your argument is some how true that if we cannot be proud with our short hair whatever hair we have and prefer long hair then we hate our hair and to some level our selves. I wish I can wear my natural hair but will people accept me and see me beautiful in that?
@TiffanyBabe, i totally agree with you tiffany, i wear my natural to college and people look at me like they just saw a ghost or something!
@TiffanyBabe,Hold on gal, who has been given a license to tell someone they dnt look good in their natural hair?..In life you dont need no one to define you,U need to define urself…Who are the people who wouldnt accept u?U know urself better and until u believe and make people see u as a beauty in ur natural hair, no one ever will..
@Adjoa Nbaaso), I have been rocking my natural hair for a year and I love it! At first was shy going in public, but once I took that bold step, I got lots of compliments. It is so empowering, liberating, HEALTHY and CHEAP! I have saved so much money in the past year… I style my natural hair regularly and if you need styling ideas for natural hair or teeny weeny afro, just go to youtube and you will get tons of ideas.
You are right…what I hate most is when they talk of the barzilian hair….is time they start talking of my hair rather than weave
AS FOR THIS WIG ISSUE, HMMMMMMMM, U SEE, THIS IS HOW FAR BEAUTY HAS BROUGHT TODAYS GENERATION, IT MAKES IT DIFFICULT FOR ONE TO APPRECIATE HIS HER OWN NATURAL BEAUTY, NOT ONLY DO BLACK WOMEN SPEND FORTUNES TO HAVE IT, EVEN THE WHITES TOO HAVE EXTENTIONS! NOT TO EVEN TALK OF HAIR PIECE AND TRANSPLANTS FOR MEN!!!!!!!
I THINK WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE THIS CASE THAT WAY. THOSE WHO HAVE DEDICATED THIER LIVES TO NATURAL HAIR SHOULD KEEP ON DOING WHAT MAKES THEM COMFORTABLE, AND FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT TOO SHOULD KEEP ON, AFTER ALL EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO HIS OPINION. MEDAASE!
@TiffanyBabe, I think special people do stand out in erthing so if you are special then stand out with your own natural special hair.
The issue goes FAR FAR FAR back than we realize but what I will say is I do agree that natural hair should rather not look strange and weave/wig look better. Look at Becca, Amber Rose….both beautiful women. However I will never agree or say a black woman hates herself because we wear weave or wig. What will you then say about so many white chicks who enhance boobs, bums lips, …all things that cannot be reversed. The fact is I prefer long hair as short does not suit me, if it did I would do it trust me, it less hassle. This is just my opinion but most of what a black girl/lady/woman does with regards to her appearance is about getting/keeping a man and most black men aint checking our lusting after a natural woman. When my BF met me I had a NICE weave. Though he has seen my natural hair and loves me that way he weren’t gonna holla at me the day he met me with my short hair coz it’s a complete appearance of what make me look cute. I ain’t saying that’s why I do it but just men love to say they pref women with natural hair yet their chicks have wave to their backsides and that’s what these chicks were rocking when the dude stepped to them. Anyway in conclusion I will prob ALWAYS wear weaves regardless of my man’s or Mr. Chris Vincent’s opinion 😉 but I do make efforts to look after my natural hair coz you never know when am old an grey I doubt I’ve be rocking any lace weave…lol
Ah Chris oo I pray your girlfriend never looses her job oo coz she is in deep doo doo LOL 😀 oh and P.S that girl’s hair in the photo is RIDICULOUSNESS!!! Too LONG….hmmm each to their own I guess!
@GoldenGurl, PREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!
@GoldenGurl, MOST MEN HAVEN’T GOT THE CHOICE! because most women wear weaves!!! if there were as many women with natural hair out there trust me you girls wearing weaves wouldn’t get checked or lusted for at all unless you look like megan goode with a weave on. THINK ABOUT IT.
You girls wearing weave have a stupid way of thinking, thinking that a weave makes you look beautiful and more desirable lol ur trying to say men look at womens head pieces before making a move lol ur a joker.
@rayQ, Now I luv ur comment and wish u wrote more.Most girls draw their own conclusion and are treated with that conclusion.
Great points you’re made. However, I have a natural hair and I also happen to wear wigs. Not everyone Black woman is like that. As for me, my reason is to protect my hair because in the USA when it’s sunny it’s like hell has been open and also winter. If anyone who wears their hair naturally knows that it needs protection. So, sometimes that wigs help in covering it. When I lived in Liberia and Ghana I never wore weaves or wigs throughout high school Even when I first came to the USA, like you mentioned above, I was laughed at for wearing my natural hair but that didn’t made me to start wearing it. My hair started breaking uncontrollably & that’s why I sometimes wear wigs. But you’re absolutely right, most Black women, especially our celebrities are all afraid of their own hair. Also, most Black men belittle those women when they wear their natural hair. And those with low self-esteem will do anything to be accepted & loved.
@Mounah Grace, I agree with you but what about looking into braids? Look at Solange, she looks amazing just being natural with her hair and getting braids. Yes every woman wants to look beautiful and admire but please take a look at the recent photos of Naomi Campbell, is it really worth it? Please my African sisters, embrace what God has given you. Me personally, I will rather look into braids and Senegalese twist before heading to the road of weaves and wigs. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.
@Ayele, Naomi Campbell didn’t and isn’t wearing wig, she’s wearing & alway wore weave. I love braids, but braids also break ur hair if u leave it for a long time. It damages ur edges, especially for my type of hair. Most importantly, I’m busy 24/7, braiding my hair will require me leaving it in for long which will result in breakage. Solange, whom I love and admire has always used wigs too. Most of her pictures she’s wearing her hair & some of them she wears her hair along with wigs which is what I do. Now weaving is totally different, same as braids. When u weave or braid ur hair, u have to pay more attention to because the hair is breaded before weaving or sometimes isn’t even braid but then it will be glued, this gluing process is what Naomi Campbell and most women do. I love my natural, I wear it on it’s on most times, but I just don’t want my hair to break. If you think I’m lying ask anyone. I do braid, weave or glue so many women’s hair. I braid my hair once in my 1st yr @ college, I was so busy I left it in for long & when I removed the braids I cried my eyes out. I had to cut every string of my hair & regrow it. My edges was so damaged. Let’s get one thing correct, I love what he wrote, I’m just saying women have different reasons. Wigs don’t damage ur hair since they’re not being sewed or glued in ur hair. I remove it when I get home & I don’t wear it when it’s too sunny & I’m not going anywhere. I’m a science student & I know very well that too much sun isn’t for my our hair (Africans). In Ghana I never wired weave or wigs, not even braids. USA sun is completely different. I LOVE my hair & no one alive or dead, man or woman will make it hate it. My only reason for sometimes wearing wig is to avoid the breakage, which has been working so far.
@Mounah Grace, thanks for the knowledge, I’m very new to wigs and weaves.
Hmmmm wigs and weaves,well the only time i dont use them is summer time,the rest of the year,i use weave,for me its some kind of protection from the cold,my husband dont like it and i see how he is always delighted when he sees natural hair but i still use them because i can afford to pay for them my self and i believe even if i couldnt pay or want him to pay,he will but he still doesnt them,i dont have a short hair but i still prefere the wigs and the weaves.what i will not spend my money on is makeups,i dont do makeups at all thats not my thing but you are right in anycase.
@jessi, exactly. The sun also damages ur hair too and the cold & too much sun, those are my only reasons for covering my hair with wigs. Right now as I type I’m wearing my hair naturally because the sun isn’t too hot. I don’t even have the money to spent on weaves because I’m a full time student. Every cent I get go into books & other things like that. Women wear weaves & wigs for different reasons. I have a friends who wears weaves but she has a very long naturally hair & her reason is to protect her hair. Eve Solange does it. Most of the time she wears wigs for protection. This is the USA, our African hair aren’t meant for this unstable weather. And the wigs I wear are natural texture, so they look & feel like my hair & people hardly notice the difference. I’m not trying to look beautiful or acceptable, I’m & I feel that way without wigs or waves.
@Mounah Grace, you are right.
@Mounah Grace, good points. so when r is the best time of the year to leave your hair on w/out protection?
It is a pity that African women profess to be promoting African culture but when you look at the way they dress and the hairdos they have on you feel like shouting ‘shame on you’. Look back just 25 years ago and see how African women wore their – nappy and kinky but very beautiful and becoming. today African women spot waist-length hair and it looks so fony. In addition they stilt their accents so that one is unable to tell if they are speaking African, American of British english. I say shame on you fake women with your fake hair and bleached skin. Shame! Disgusted
On a serious note, Chris you have to remember you men have also contributed to this bad behavior.Who are women trying to please and who gives the feedback after all this weave hassle?Some men actually see fake beauty as real…But then again I think its about time women find a reason to stick to their natural self.All this is as a result of Low self Esteem..One person started this whole brazillian fake hair and now the whole world is doing it, maybe we can also start the beauty of natural hair and it will last.
No wait just a damn minute. Yes, some women are lacking in pride for their natural hair and that’s why they weave it up. But you CANNOT make the generality that every woman wearing weave is doing so because they are ashamed of their natural hair. I am a perfect example. I love wearing weave because of the versatility it offers me without doing damage to my natural hair. I like wearing my hair straight some times and if possible i’d like to be able to wear it that way without the heat damage to my beautiful batural hair. On the other hand, I’ve been known to walk out of the house wearing a beautiful fro or twists and.think nothing of it. It’s perfectly fine rhat you don’r support the wearing/buying of hair weave, or that you don’t like the reasons your girlfriend wears weave, but don’t you DARE try to shame the rest of us when you don’t know us or our stories.