Dear GC,
I’ve been with my man for just four months but he has betrayed me and I confused if I should walk away from him.
I met him on the 5th of October of last year. I remember the date because I met him on my birthday. Aside from not being from the same country (he is from Ghana I’m from Congo), we also realised I was two years older but we still have a lot in common and we became a very close couple.
Even after such a short time I knew I was in no hurry to go anywhere. We have done all the things most couples have done, met each other’s friends and family and he even wants me to go to Ghana with him next month to meet the rest of his people.
When I told my parents of me being older, they were not happy. I didn’t care coz it’s not a big deal and it’s not something you can even noticed. He looks old for his age and though I’m 35 I don’t look it.
When we were booking the tickets for Ghana and I wanted to look at his passport photo to laugh at his picture, he gripped it angrily and made excuses for why I couldn’t see it. I was a bit annoyed because he was rude about it.
I just ignored it until I went to have a peak amongst his documents. I didn’t see the big deal because he looked really cute in his photo, but then I noticed the date of birth. He had lied to me; he wasn’t 2 years younger he was 11 years younger.
I felt sick at the lie he had told! He was 24… I remember he was in the shower at the time but I did not care and threw the passport at him, took my things and left his place.
Now If I think of it I feel like I should I known or realised. I feel so stupid. What else has he lied about I just can’t forgive him. He has begged and begged via messages as I refuse to pick his phone. He says it does not matter I just don’t know what to do and too embarrassed to discuss this with anyone.
Am I overreacting, I’m confused.
Worried Francesca.
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Dear Francesca,
This is indeed a hurtful lie and will of course make you question all else he has said because you’re relationship is still quite new. I do think you need to find a way to be calm enough to listen to him to ask why he lied, you do not need to make any decisions as yet.
Hope this helps!
All The Best
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected], we will keep your identity anonymous.
11years is quite long. So quit nw to avoid problems in the future.
Madam, better run out quick because a man who lies is not to be trusted. if he can lie this way then he will get you deeply in love based on lies and you will regret it.
I hope you see this, most Africans lie about their age sometimes just to get their papers done easily when they are abroad or for some other reasons such as job etc so you should speak to him for all you know the passport does not contain his actual age or maybe a mistake occurred while his passport was being done but he left it as such just to eliminate the long wait for a new and corrected passport to be issued. There was a mistake in my date of birth in my passport and I had it change instead of 2nd February they typed 3rd so discuss with your man…
@Tanya Lacquisha, or luk @ it ths way..i get in2 a relationshp nt thinkn of any comitment & so i lie & say anything i want jst 2 get u..i get u & i find out wht a great person u ar & nw i want 2 stik around & am scard i’ll lus u if i tel u evrythng ,jst an opinion
Why not have a lengthy chat with him in person…ask him about it…see his reaction..if he is apologetic why not a second chance…. oh and tell him no relationship can be base on lies and therefore should come clean if not its over.
You are on point,people lie about their ages in passports and even birth certificates all the time, i would encourage her to talk with him,dialogue can be used to find a solution to problems at times………….
70 to 80percent dnt use their real age on their documents….so if u r pissed off cuz of da age on the passport then u might be mistaking….take it easy nd let him tell u his real age
Yeah I understand how you feel but it could be that the age he gave you earlier is his real age and what you saw in his passport could be his European age or American age. You know how some black men do
If he says he can explain I think you better give him the chance to.Because most people change their date of birth, even names just to get the visa and other things.My mom did my passport when I was in K.G if not, I would have probably changed mine too. If none of the above are his reasons for lying then heey, you can move on if your heart says so.
Usually, I do not participate in this type of discussion because the truth is not told. However, this is my opinion. Try and verify why he is interested in you. Does he has a green paper (green card)? Does he has a job? Is he looking for sex partner? Earlier in your discussion, you mentioned you love him. You also, mentioned that you have things in common. It is not good idea to change because of his age. You said that you have done everything couples do in their privacy, public places, and what have you? Ladies marry men twice their ages. I have as well seen ladies that marry men who are younger than them. Do not panic if you love this man. He might have lied because of the love he has for you. I am so sorry that you went public with this discussion. There are more to this relationship than we are aware of. Good luck. Try and work it out with him.
Hmm, I always think a man who will lie about petty things like his family,age,past relationship,name,tribe, job, and education can never be trusted.First of all, Luv looks beyond these things so why don’t u speak the truth from the scratch.Well, my dear Francesca, as much as you are hurt, try and get over it.Your man can never be trusted.Pray to God to give u a better man.Take the lesson and move on baby, that’s Life rite there.
Then why not leave him cal me 4 more details 0542749115
i agree with u most in here..try to find out wht de deal is with u guy.i kno he mite be telling u the truth.Now a days passports lie(xpecially we West Africans).Jst take heart and see for urself.
Francesca.. I think u should hear him out cos most African men dnt use there real age on their passport when travelling abroad….i have work at Legal firm before and when speaking to most client about their passport details the shocking part of it is that they travel with some1 details even their real name has been change since …so is not only the age can be change but sometimes their name too…..dnt let this relationship pass by..i think he told u his real age so hear him out…..gud luck
It’s interesting to read all these feedback and advise. Well, i am sorry for the pain you going through right now. Really this should not be a big deal to bring something that may go a long way. Like my fellow commentators have already said there are so many reasons why especially Africans lie about their age. He might indeed be 2 years younger but according to passport 11 years younger. First of all what date was the passport established? How many years ago? Also, many will agree with me that sometimes when someone loves you he or she especially men will do anything to get you. My advice to you is that hasty decisions can ruin something that was meant for a lifetime. So please take it easy and listen before you regret. At least hearing him out will determine the truth then the decision to leave will not be so regretful. Like the old saying goes HAD I KNOWN IS ALWAYS AT LAST.