Love & Relationship: Dear GC Readers, I Converted From Christianity To Islam For My BF Since He Said He’ll Only Marry A Muslim, He Has Now Dumped Me For Confronting Him About Marriage…What Should I Do?

Dear GC Readers,

I think I may have lost the love of my life. I’m 34 and met my man just over a year ago through mutual friends. When I first met him he really wasn’t my type but I fell for him hard and fast.

When we met I knew he was a Muslim which was obvious because of his name but even though he says he doesn’t practise Islam he can only marry a Muslim. This is surprising coz he even drinks. At this point it was extremely hard to walk away as we had been dating for over six months by then.

I’m a Christian but like him I’m not devout. He really is perfect in every way and he always says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I told him I would  convert as I loved him and knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.

I started attending classes to learn the Quran and how to dress in the right way, I was even learning Arabic. I was so dedicated and my man was so happy and proud of me.

I really thought that once I had made all the effort to change my religion and give up so many things like church and Christmas, he would set a date but there was no mention of it and I got me very frustrated.

One Friday afternoon I suggested we go to the mosque which he agreed and was happy that I had asked. Then it all went very badly wrong.

We fought because he was late and said he had to meet with friends after. I basically waited for him to come to my place that night and blasted him about the sacrifices I had made and why he hadn’t even proposed!

He then got up and said if the only reason I converted was to get married then he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

He also said he had been late to the mosque because he was talking to his mum about asking for my hand in marriage. I haven’t stopped crying for weeks! His phone is off and he won’t see me. Was I wrong? And what should I do?

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Dear Sandra,

I can imagine after everything you did to convert you must devastated your man has left like this. Although I’m going to point out the most obvious piece of advice here but men REALLY don’t like being dictated to or told what to do.

Being in love doesn’t mean living in love by your heart. Even though your man stated he can only marry a Muslim and said things to make you think he would propose, it really doesn’t always work like this.

It’s a typical case of actions speaking louder than words. He saying he wants it doesn’t mean he will do it and actually propose. I promise you, these are two very different things.

I’m sure if he appeared unsure about marriage you would not have made the conversion, so you can see how he thinks you just want to get wed.

Making such changes can’t just be for him alone, you have to make changes that are also in your interest. That way it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice and if he leaves you want feel you did it just for a wedding.

It also sounds to me  from what you said he didn’t specifically ask you to convert. This is probably because he wanted you to make the decision for the right reason, when you’re ready.

I know it sounds like it’s a hopeless situation but you need to think why you really converted and if you are prepared to lower your expectations.

No more pressure. The best way to reach out to him is to write him a letter asking to meet. No more stalking phone calls! Give him space, if he really loves you he’ll at least hear what you have to say.  Let’s See What Our Readers Have To Say Too! Guys, Please Chip In Your AdviceTo Help A Sister…

All the best.

SassyChic!

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