Dear GC,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost four years now and I’m thinking of ending it all after she betrayed me. I’ve always trusted her in all ways and never expected that she could ever steal from me.
I’d been saving money to pay for my professional exams. Even though she couldn’t help me financially she has always been encouraging and supportive with me trying to improve my chances at a better job. In fact she is the one who helped me research and find the best course.
I had saved almost six thousand pounds in total and was due to enrol next month only to find that my savings account had almost been cleared! After numerous calls and investigations, video footage showed a man who was able to produce my I.d and had access almost all the money. I have not used my drivers licence in a while so didn’t even notice that it had gone missing.
My girlfriend appeared sympathetic but I noticed she seemed shifty and unsettled every time I bought it up. I started checking her phone and e-mails after she slipped up on info that I hadn’t even told her regarding the stolen money.
I then found an e-mail in her deleted box saying where to meet to give a guy i.d (my I.d). I was too shocked about it and I almost convinced myself it was not true.
I confronted her with the e-mail and told her not to even lie and she confessed in tears saying she was in serious debt from a loan shark and had no other way to get the money.
She got herself into a mess helping her family back home, she was crying so hard and on her knees saying how sorry she is. The guy who took the money is her cousin’s friend who took a cut to get the money.
So the money is gone. I do believe her as her mom had called in the past saying how much is helping everyone back home. I thought she was just getting it from her overtime.
Even though I know the truth I still feel I can never trust her again. Should I leave her or should I give her a chance as I do really care and love her.
Fred…
__________________________________________________________________
Dear Fred,
Plain and simply your girlfriend stole from you. Regardless the reason, amount or how she did it, this is not right. There are always reasons why we need money and we can get desperate but we can’t just help ourselves to other people’s money, especially when it’s people who are supposed to trust us!
I’m assuming she knew you couldn’t afford to give her the money so her doing what she did in the way that she did it was not only dishonest but there is no regard for your own reasons for saving that money.
Ok all other judgements aside! Dealing with loan sharks can be dangerous and distressing so she was obviously very desperate and in some trouble. For what your relationship is worth when the dust on your angst settles, you should talk to her about the unrealistic pressure she is putting on herself to provide for her family back home.
Of course we all want to support our families but not by any means necessary. If she does not check herself on this what else will she do to send money back home?
If they knew where and how she came about the money would they be happy knowing she is putting her safety and her relationship in jeopardy?
It sounds like you want to give her another chance assuming the time spent together and how she has supported you. You also should sit her down and make sure she understands how betrayed and hurt you are.
She has to pay you the money back, every penny of it. You may want to give her a bit of space to figure this out.
What I will say though in her favour is, if you’re going to forgive her then do so! Give her the benefit of the doubt that if she says she’s sorry and appears sincere and is paying back the money then do forgive her. It won’t work if she sees you hiding your wallet and expensive possessions when she enters the room.
Hope this helps!
Let’s See What Our Readers Have To Say Too! Guys, Please Chip In Your Advice To Help A Brother…
All the best!
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
A person’s actions are the best indicator of their true beliefs and who they really are What she did tells you what kind of person she is When things get tough she is willing to steal, to deceive, to lie by omission, and generally take the easiest path, regardless of the consequences to someone she claims to love This is a fact If she is capable of changing to a different kind of person and if you can ever truly believe she’s changed
is another matter entirely Without any other background information it does sound like you should break up I can’t imagine abusing someone’s trust by cleaning out their bank account. There’s no plausible scenario (in my mind) where you telling her to use your card Whether or not she is truly sorry you’re still going to be stuck with someone who did this to begin with If she had no qualms about taking £6,000 of your money without telling you what else is she capable of? Not to mention that she was too chicken shit to either take care of her own problems
or come to you and ask for help. Do you want to be with such a puts for the rest of your life? DUMP her ass there are too many fishes in the sea Gods time is always the best time don’t let the devil walk over you
Very well said swit.Hope u gud?
@adjoa nbaaso thank you I’m gud gud hope you too
It is just money today. Do you believe it would be unthinkable to connive with somebody to hurt you physically or kill you? You have seen your red flag that this girl can go behind you and ruin your life. Okwaduo amirika is what you should be running. Worrrrrd to the wise…
If she had come to you, would you not have helped her? The decision was yours to make in the first place, whether to give her the money or not, but she went through all that trouble to steal from you, then had the nerve to pretend she didn’t know anything about it. You would have probably given her the money if she had confided in you but oh no… she premeditated and calculatingly took YOUR money with total disregard for your reason or feelings for saving that money and you don’t know whether to let her go or keep her? To left her… (as Beyonce said) Can you really trust her now? You know it’s always gonna be in the back of your mind if you decide to stay with her, the trust is broken, it’s not there anymore and to stay with her will be a misery for the both of you.Whenever you loose something, you are always gonna think if she took it or not and even if she truly did not take it, she is also gonna wonder if you thought she took it or not ,either or, both of you are gonna eventually hate each other cos the trust is not there, a line was crossed that will never be uncrossed….. save yourselves the heart ache and part ways because there is no relationship without trust! trust me……
@HaNi,On point.
WELL SAID DEAR.
You would be digging your early grave If you continues this relationship. I understand that you´ve gone a long way. But remember, If she can go to this extend, what makes you think she can´t even arranged for ur death at a critical state. A word to a wise is enough!