You walk out of the door, insert the key in your car and your phone beeps, you have a new message….it reads “love you, miss you already”.
After talking on the phone for 2 hours and two minutes, there is another message,” did I tell you how much I love you?” You were on girl’s night out on Friday and husband keeps suffocating you with incessant phone calls and messages.
Is it a way of demonstrating strong love or smothering? Many times we always confuse love with smothering. Which ever way it goes, most relationship therapies concentrate on partner’s privacy, time and space, but love they say considers and respects what others desire.
If your partner keeps requesting for your password to any of the social networks, especially facebook, what will be your reaction? Is it insecurity on his part or establishing greater trust, openness and concern in the relationship?
Partners spend waking moments with each other. Never give them breathing space, grasp and stalk on them with crazy phone calls and questions. Pestering loved ones to give up seeing friends, just to spend “quality time”.
Normally, insecurity in relationships causes retrogression. Some partners feel like cell mates rather than soul mates. Does making password accessible show how much you love him or her or do you view it as a form of oppression?
People might have divergent views on this so let’s get talking… Does it create a healthy relationship or destroys it?? What is your take on partners who consistently request for passwords of their other halves?
I personally think its a form of oppression.facebk is just a social network thg dat u just go to chat esp wen bored so whatever goes on there should not be taken serious at all.but on the other hand it has destroyed tons of relationships.bfs and gfs want to know every detail of the other person’s social life which is very good n acceptable but sometimes they just ask for too much and if you let them know,then that’s the beginning of questions,making stupid references,calling you all kinds of names that deep down in u its not how they make it seem to be. In short,I think password should not be shared.the person can just sleep on ur wall 24/7 and read every comment u post n dat of others.dat shd b enough cos a lot of people were on facebook b4 they met their partners.but if they insist they wanna know,then u gon need divine intervention n just give to him/her n do ur thg.
I think its a sign of insecurity if your partner starts asking you for your password to your e-mail, phone, other social networks…………
I cant give my password out to my partner if he ever ask for it. And I know I wont be interested in his.
that is a problem. i’ve two friends who ended their ralationship bcos of facebook. they both had each other’s password and the gal started accusing the guy of cheating w/his female friends. i think its wrong to give ur password to ur partner. give yourself some space
@ Madam, dnt. u think refusal to share might also lead him into thinking that, u have sth. up ur sleeves? I use to have this friend whose bf. confiscated her blackberry for 3 days, after realizing how truthful she is, his behavior changed for the better…..
Leticia you are so right! On my side its both. it either destroys d relationship or the other person thinks ur doin sumn u dnt wan em to kno about..happening to me ryt nw. So one of us had to deactivate our fbcks..mayb we both jx need to quit fcbkn!!
People really do some weird things 4 love.These same things are the very ones which breaks up da relationships yet they still indulge in it.The fact dat u’re in love doesn’t mean u shd loose yr brains. Why on earth shd I give my security details to my partner to serve wat purpose?It will just breed jealousy & loss of trust.No wonder gals film themselves nude 4 their partners only 4 it to end up on the net.Dats why ders the need to be matured enough b4 gettin into a relationship or marriage cos some of these childish decisions pple take 4 the sake of love makes me wonder if it’s worth being in a relationship @ all.Even some of the stuff people esp. da gals write on dis same fb makes me wonda if they’re serious abt their relationships @ all.To me it’s highly unnecessary & childish as well cos it can cause a breakup.
real talk…
@ Chuckylee, I feel u on that but seriously until you learn a lesson from a relationship, you never stop lovin with ur heart instead of the brains.Love is a disease and sometimes until you go tru certain things, you never find the remedy .
@ Chuckylee,COULDN’T AGREE WIT U MORE………RIGHT ON POINT MY DEAR.
just one or two weeks ago a study was conducted and was stated that social networks especially facebook has become the most infidelity in relationships.
The funny thing is that some partners request their significant password just to make the matter worse. I know a girl friend of mine (not relationship but just friends) boyfriend suspected and accused her of messing with a guy in facebook. Since the girl was been so caring and loving she gave her password to her boyfriend because she can’t take all his punk ass nagging. Well, to make the story short, the dude end up chopping one of his girlfriend’s girl in her facebook account..lol.. Shit was funny but sad for my girl friend.
You gotta agree with @TheChuckylee
OMG, that’s funny yet sad. hup the lady left his cheating ass tho. cuz, it’s sooooo disrespectful. wow. that’s mad sad. relationships and social network does not really go hand in hand, but it’s so much fun to facebuk ur heart out…lol. so is it really advisable for people in relationships to stay away from facebuk???
@ Leticia
Leti, you right that’s way disrespectful and yes, my friend left
ass. Dude still begging her but home girl already made her mind.
As for you question is kinda difficult give up facebook when a person
is in relationship.
Leticia, if ppl. in relationships should stay away from fb then I guess, Mark might end up closing it down cuz 80% of the people on there aint single.There is no need to stay away, after all fb is not the only place for cheating.Guys need to learn how to trust their girls, Simple as that.
open is being my friend on facebook and being tagged as the person im in a relationship with. being able to access my wall and all that it comes with but having ma password is power and u requesting for it is u being possessive. i might not be doing anything bad there but its just better to have ya space and a lil privacy. it only gives u a sense of existence. to make u feel u have ya own life to live in spite the fact that u are in a relationship. having ya partner all up in ya space creates some form of unconscious bondage u might or might not be aware of. u can only contain that for a lil time then after that u begin to despise him silently in ya heart. its better to take advantage of the lil lil bridges and barriers. its stabilizes the relationship. having ya password doesn’t really make u trust worthy. i dont mind him on ma facebook when its already open but i will still prefer ma password being ma password. ‘familiarity they say breads contempt’. him
This same thing happened to a friend of mine.She went on fb, had a chat with one of dem guys and forgot to close the chat box.A couple of hours later her boyfriend logged onto her fb account and unfortunately saw the chat.It was a terrible situation cuz at the end they was a breakup.Well to me its kinda childish to be stalking ur partner on his/her fb page.They can still play it smart regardless of all those massive monitoring.
Hmm Social network and relationship is something else.
it can make u or break you which in this case the breaking part is high. My finance and I met on there some 3years ago and about to marry very soon i never believed in those stuff, but i guess anything is possible . We try to keep our relationship off Facebook us much us we can .I dont no how it came about dont remember him asking me directly for ma password, but we both have each other’s which we’r cool with it . He hardly use Facebook anyway, so am the one that check his page for him lol and Is not that we’r on each other’s page spying every min. Yes Facebook its fun you get to meet your friends chat with them and so on, but if your in relationship u got to be careful, know how to talk to your guy friends and play wise no matter how you trust each other. sometimes some kind of jealously kicks in being something u find even-though is from someone who is just a friend of his or hers . The only people we share our relationship stuff with are few close friends thanks to facebook privacy.
To be honest at the beginning it was not all great i saw one mail one time bi paa and jumped into conclusion lol well came to found out she was just some old school mate since then thats it he made all his friends no he’s in relationship, so no one even bother to send anything that will course harm . If you agree to share password with ur partner u got to know there are some things you have to learn to accept, because before you they had a life,i mean they have friends as well, so being mad at every move they make on there will always bring a problem and lead to breakups. My finance and i are alright , but i wont recommend to anyone though because not everyone can handle some of the heat that comes with it which might break the me. if ur both the jealous type is definatly not a good move for u . is all base on trust understanding.
@Adjoa, i totally agree with u…if u trust and luv ur woman, facebuk, legbuk, handbuk or wateva will not intimidate you.
Mmmmmm Sisters and Brothers, it is very easy to say but bitter for the heart to endure, I rmb it happened to me just last week. I have my boy friends password and one day i logged on and what i saw was an eyesore, i couldn’t believe those messages were from him to a lady on Face book. I confronted him and the only encouraging words he thought he could tell me was is just, Facebook , My dear friends, though the love counts a lot, but these social networks can also aid you build some kind of mistrust for your Fiance no matter how far u’ve gone.
thats true ..a study even proved it that many couples and lovers cheat and end in break up thru facebook ..their spouse or lovers caught them cheating for examples with old flames or old school mates etc …,
i think its not wise to share everything in ur personal life /love life on Fb especially when ur BF, GF ,husband or wife is on ur list …ur must repect ur privacy and sharing it with everyone certainly makes it less valuable . it loose or lack that special effect cos its so predictable for everyone to see what happens or going to happen in ur relationship ..it might even raise envyness or jealousy and bad wishes for u and its not wise at all for aspouse or lovers to have ones password to acces his or her social network …. cos some things are better left unseen nor said to avoid break up ..since no human can be trust 100% .. so no need to stalk ur man or woman ..and thats a sign of maturity to keep ur relationship … one should just live by faith in everything ..
I think its really bad because i kno my bf password on fbk and what i ve discovered is not really good. In fact he keeps chatting with other girls and all and i really dont know wat to do. Im so in love with him but i hate him as the same time and because of dat i keep fighting with him. I forgot to say dat he didnt wanted to give me his pasword but i manage to find it. Guys wat should I do?? Im desperate, i feel like giving up in life. Every morning when i see his eyes i want to be with him forever but when he goes to work and im alone at home i go on fbk in his account and i read all his messages with girls and then i want to give up everything!!
guys, Mefia needs help….i can see this situation is gnawing you bit by bit, but be strong GC readers will surly help…..@Mefia, instead of fighting with him over this issue, why don’t you have a one-on-one communication, a dialogue….pour out your feelings, let him know how much it really hurts you.create a scenario when having the conversation, put him in that situation “, if u were the one doing that on facebuk, how will he feel”…any man who loves u deeply, would understand, after pouring out ur sentiments…. however, if he doesn’t listen to you, then u take the next action…..
kill the situation b4 it kills u…Gud luck.
@ Joy, I’m assuming u full of joy and smiles……congratulations…u deserve it…
btw. interesting and real talk….
Well Mefia,Leticia said it all.Just tell ur man how u feel and if it still doesn’t work, then u know what to do.All da best gal.
HMMMMMM!!! FB! THE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR HAPPINESS. THE SAME PLACE WHERE YOU CAN LOSE YOUR HAPPINESS. Many relationships start on fb and also ends there. Im even going to delete my account cause is not bringing any joy to me! There’s too much drama on there. Today this, yesterday that.. is just too much to keep up with especially when you have your ex or boyfriend on there.. It worsen everything. Gosh. 🙁 IHATEFB! …
yes my dear so much drama there ..it worsen everything ..so me i deleted my account long ago …
well thank you all (@Leticia owusu and adjoa) for ur help, but the situation is worsen