Dear GC..
There is this guy I knew back in Senior Hight School. We got in touch recently and we started hanging out.
After spending some time together, he proposed marriage but since he has asked me to marry him I’ve not accepted his proposal.
Since spending time together we have kissed but I still don’t think I love him enough to go out with him and commit to him long term. The thing is, we are attracted to each other any time we meet.
Do I stop seeing him or do I stay to see if things work out and my feelings for him grow?
Please help me!
lily…….
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Dear Lily,
From the start it would seem very obvious and tempting for me to advise that you are not into this guy and the relationship is not worth it. The reason I am not going to give you that advice is because you and your man are the only ones who know all aspects of what is going on and I am sure you have not told me even half of the important things that are going on in your relationship.
A few things I will point out though is, I see you do go and see him again and again and you have kissed or maybe been more intimate with him. Depending on your intentions you will not do this if there was no attraction whatsoever.
The problem here could be that he has put you off because he is too keen. It doesn’t sound like you have known each other that long, nor have you spent that much time together since you last knew each other, yet he proposed marriage. Even though you could choose to take this as a compliment after seeing each other just a few times this can be quite off putting for you.
What I would suggest is you need to decide if it’s a case of you not wanting a long term committed relationship at the moment or just that you don’t want one with him.
If it is the first one then yes you should jump ship! However if you like this guy then let him know you like him but you want to get to know him and see how things go.
If he really likes you, he’ll stick around, if he don’t he’ll be gone like magic and he will have done the job for you. But knowing how us ladies can be I’m sure once he backs off and plays it a bit cool you will suddenly find him to be more alluring and attractive.
Hope this helps!
All the best.
Regards,
SassyChic!
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
Lily it sounds like you are not that into him. One thing is certian, if you know within yourself that marriage to this guy is not what you want then stand in your truth. Be honest with yourself and with the guy. Take the time to write the pros and cons of the proposal and weigh them carefully.
As SassyChic has stated, there are a lot of information left out in your mail, so for anyone to give you an opinion is difficult.
On the other hand, have you thought of the possibility that you are one of the many women out there who just don’t want to be married? The fact may be that you are just not ready to be married. Ask yourself this question; if the proposal came from someone else would you still be this indecisive and doubtful? Trust your instinct, it is the highest form of intelligence. All the best with your decision.
@ kr, so u have now turned into )d) doctor,
i agree with you. she needs to be truthful to herself.
NOOOO. THE fact that he proposed to you doesnt mean he loves you. heck a man can even propose to a dog. Marriage is a partnership you can’t partner with a stranger. what if he’s a bad person looking for a punching bag pls. don’t be so naive. if he loves you he would really want to get to know you and he would be interested in helping you achieve your goals. heck! he didnt even ask what you would love to achieve in life or if you love him. this is a very bad sign. say NO. Not until you answer these important questions: does he have a job? car? house? kids? ex wife? ex wives? girl friends? boy friends? been in jail? drug problems? also important: is he cute? how does he smell? breath? what do his finger nails look like? Don’t forget – are you attracted to him?
Miyagi nie…”a man can even propose to a dog” hahahaha, wobe kume.
wow ..Miyagi ..nice for being straight foward and honest abt u fellas …lol
@mother hahah thank you as a man I do the same with ladies anyway hahahahah I don’t want any confused person in my live
@B.B. Loool its the truth my dear.
this is really true Miyagi i really like the way u say the truth about ur fellow me.
@adwoa thank you
I feel ur comment.
@adjoa Nbaaso thank you so my dear hopE your okay
first of all u really need to get to knw this guy b4 u even think about marriage. say no to his proposal and take the time to knw each other well