Dear Gc Readers,
I am a single Dad in my late 20’s and living with my 5 year old child. I have a close married friend with a child of same age as my son. Due to the two kids, I spend some of my weekends at my friend’s house with his family to allow the two children play together.
A few months ago, I was working and taking up a professional web development course at a College to enable me become a freelance web developer. I lost my job when I was at the finishing end of my course. My job loss meant that I could not finance the course and had to drop out.
My friend’s wife is a professional web developer and the very person who suggested the course to me in the first place. As I couldn’t continue the course at the college, she offered to help me finish the few units I was left with.
This would then mean I could just pay for the exam and complete my course. My best friend’s wife kindly offered to teach me whenever she had free time at home. She had been doing so until few weeks ago when she proposed LOVE to me and kept talking about how much she loves me, how she wants to leave her problematic husband and be with me.
I have rejected her proposal and have even stopped going to the house for the lessons. However, she keeps calling and texting all the time. I want to tell my friend what his wife is up to but I am concerned how things would turn out.
This is a very close childhood friend. I feel maybe he would not even believe me; maybe I would lose my friendship with him. And If I don’t tell him and he finds out another way, I would become the bad person by not informing him. I am so confused, Please Advise me!
From Mike
Dear Mike,
I can only imagine that being a single father of a young child and dealing with your recent unemployment is enough of a challenge without having to deal with your friends’ marital issues.
However as you pointed out this is a close childhood friend and it is not as simple as walking away. This is a situation where you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Therefore my advice to you is to put your own needs and that of your child first.
I am very sure that you have had a whole host of advice from those you have asked, all of which will be different and confusing to you. Hence my advice to you is to trust the decision you make that will mean less damage to your own family.
If you tell your friend, he will surely react, if you don’t and he finds out he will react and in both cases you may loose this friend. What I will say is, ask yourself if it were the other way round what would you expect from your friend? In life it’s about treating people the way you also expect to be treated.
The fact that you have backed off and seeing them less is a smart move. Even though having someone tell you they have feelings for you might do something for the ego, the plain fact is this person has acted in a selfish manner.
This will surely affect your relationship with your own friend and your children. You may also want to consider that this might not be the first time your friend’s wife has done this and may just be looking for way out of her troubled marriage. Often being a single person spending time with a married couple can come with its issues of crossed boundaries.
This is my advice, lets see what other readers would say…
Best of luck !
Regards,
Ms. A.K from GC XXX
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
19 Comments