Hello GC,
I am a young man now based in Europe and I have been dating my lady for 8rys now. Luckily for me my father made me join him over here in Europe. I just left Ghana 3 months ago. Now that I’m in Europe I want to bring my girlfriend to Europe and ask her to marry me.
Anytime I go out with my father to visit his friends they all talk bad about bringing a lady to Europe, they say ‘…if she starts working she will dump you’ .I have heard many of my dads friends go through this situation. Please help me out. I really love ma baby girl but I am confuse now!
Dear Brian,
Good to hear you found this new opportunity with your father in Europe. It sounds like you had your mind set prior to the numerous suggestions of only one possible outcome of bringing your long term girlfriend to join you.
While there is no harm in considering the advice given, especially by a more experience group of elders, it’s also essential that you don’t live your life according to someone else’s ideals or experiences. After all if you take this advice and it does not work in your favor, could these men not say…’well my dear son this was only advice, you did not have to take it on board you have your own mind…”
What you may like to consider is that should you choose to take this advice, you would never know the outcome of carrying out your plans to bring your current girlfriend over. Also what’s to say , what if you meet someone right there in Europe, a perfect mate that makes you smile and nod in agreement, then low and behold this ideal new partner accepts your proposal and does the very same thing you were avoiding in the very first place.
So what I am saying is regardless, you are surely taking a risk either way. The risks are, bringing over your long term girlfriend and her jumping ship or ending this relationship, starting over and maybe still ending up with nothing.
It would seem harsh to pre-judge your girlfriends actions based on other people’s actions before she’s even stepped foot on the plane. Ideally you would be asking her to come and stay with you for a holiday and seeing how you are able to get on together in another continent under different circumstances. Guys have instincts too so I will advice that you take a risk with one eye open!
Best of luck !
Regards,Ms. A.K from GC XXX
Send all your relationship & Love probs to me via [email protected]
Well, these things happen almost everywhere but that doesnt mean you would have to listen to people.Ofcourse, anything can happen, but how would you know if you dont take the risk.You know ur gf very well and so do you luv, if so then just go get her and make sure she doesnt associate herself with bad companies.
So then, my question, does it mean, since the oluman boogies have told u about their experiences, you want to leave ur woman and get a new one over there or you want to keep a distance relationship?
my friend whoever you are like you said you have been dating her for the past 8 years because you have been hearing experiences from others doesnt mean you should like your mind play tricks on you 8 years ain’t 8 months or 8 minutes neither 8 seconds some how some way you should know how your lady is and its not like you have been living here for many years like you said 3 months which is not even long to be doubting about it but the question now is have you establish your self first and have you spoken about it with your father and what does he think about the whole situation my advice is establish your self first because life Europe aint that easily especially when your new down here think twice aint nothing wrong with bring’ her but dont depend on your father to be taking care of you and her than incase you decide to come
Follow your heart. Love is abt taking chances. if you take her to europe and it doesn’t work its another lesson learned but if you don’t you will always wonder abt the wht if’s.
I can see where this guy’s fears are. Time and time again it has happened where a woman or man brings their long term partner or spouse to Europe or North America and he or she ends up dumping them. But the fact that it has happened to others does not mean it will happen to you. Life is full of risks. Take a chance and see what happens… if I were you I would be extra cautious. Take a chance…after all we live only once so its good to experience victory and the crushing agony of betrayal too (lol). It’s all life.
@ghallday, i agree with you about the the north american thing, it reminds me of a movie i saw recently starring Veeda in American Nurse. lol.
@Diana_11367, Such a terrible feeling it would be to spend so much money/energy to bring a spouse or bf/gf here and they just dumps you and take off. *smh*
if you’ve been with her for 8 years, then you no her very well. however, i do believe that when a person has an alteria motive then they will wait as long as it takes. Go ahead and propose to her in Europe, you have nothing to loose, just GAIN . You’ll either have a devote wife or you’ll have someone that left you just to get to Europe, if so then it is blessing to have the 8 year drag-out come to end (see, either way you gain). good luck to you, i know it’s a difficult deceision because i went through a similar situation.
If a woman has stuck with you thru thick and thin, thru the hardest times of your life and hers….then why would she dump you? Hmm, some women can be dirty but I just don’t get it. If I choose to stay with a man with nothing at all, then it must be love keeping up together. What my opinion is, is to have faith in your girlfriend. Eight years together is a decent amount of time. You have certainly gone thru worse than a move. It rather shows her commitment to you if she would make that big step. If she loves you as much as you do her, and don’t want to stray from each other, then you have nothing to worry about.
And if she does stray, then this move has only given her the opportunity to do so-the issues were already there in the first place. Good luck hon.
I dont care for this opinion at all, lol, sorry. Just certain statements rub me the wrong way even though it might be true in some peoples situations. “Also what’s to say , what if you meet someone right there in Europe, a perfect mate that makes you smile and nod in agreement, then low and behold this ideal new partner accepts your proposal and does the very same thing you were avoiding in the very first place.” What would he be meeting and hooking up with new and better mates for anyway? Unless he is unhappy with the relationship hes in now, in the first place? And if thats the case and he knows he has straying eyes, then why ask ur girlfriend to come live with you if u know ure not gonna remain faithful? Ugh……..maybe I understood that wrong, if I did, please correct me..
There are risks to everything you do, but what would be life without taking any? This experience can be the best for the relationship, bringing each other closer. If people say, leave her there-what good would that do? After a certain amount of lengthy time, both will get more and more distant from each other, bored of each other, and the time apart will give this woman (and the man) more opportunity and more reason to cheat, than if they were living together-no matter how much they claim they might love each other, someones gonna mess up, perhaps meet someone else, and start cheating and/or sleeping around.
She was with you from tyhe beginning, till you left to Europe. I know of many situations as those that your dad and other are warning you of, BUT one thing to also consider is that in some of those situations the relationships did not have the long history that yours has. In some cases the person only enetered the picture “after” the other had already successfully made it abroad. This woman has stood by you for 8 years, when you were Ghana, that means she loves you for you. If you have the means to bring her there, then you should try … if it doesnt work out, there may be many factors why. There are risks in all relationships … but sometimes those risks must be taken or you will never know what might have been. Wish you the best.
HAHAHAHAAHAH,I AM LAUGHING NOT AT YOUR SITUATION BUT AT THE VARIOUS ANSWERS TO YOUR SIMPLE QUESTION.SIMPLE IT MAY SOUND TO YOU,BUT NOT SO SIMPLE TO THOSE OF US IN LIVING IN EUROPE FOR A WHILE.MY ADVICE WILL BE FOR YOU TO STAY FOR SOME YEARS AND STUDY THE STRUCTURE OF THOSE DOING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.BY SO DOING,YOU WILL GAIN SOME SORT OF OUTSIDE EXPERIENCE TO YOUR APPROACH IN DEALING WITH THE ISSUE OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND.A WORD TO A WISE IS ENOUGH.
i think you should just marry the girl and ignore what every body else thinks.im just ten years old and i over heard my dad reading this to my mom and i decided to just post my comment.