CHRIS-VINCENT Writes: Afia Schwarzenegger, Mzbel, Delay & Diamond Appiah | the Coarse Square of Nuisance

Apart from the undisputed fact that the above four names are deluded Ghanaian Celebrities who attract perennial undeserving media attention, they are plainly benighted social media self glorifying losers—who in reality have “nothing enviable” to their names.

And yet, they wouldn’t grant us a decent week without their constant outbursts, mostly targeting one of themselves which frequently make the headlines.

They say empty barrels make the most noise…right? I say, these four bimbos define the direction of Ghana’s Showbiz noise with their shocking and cheap antics which we would never get used to no matter how often they throw them at us…

It has become a weekly confusing cycle of idiocy—always with one of these names serving as the fountainhead of the nonsense. Occasionally, we get strange casualties such as Nana Aba Anamoah taking charge of the headlines but even that, trust one of these loud-foul mouth industry ‘roundheels’ to quickly snatch the truncheon.

Perhaps, it’s a shadow race among these four, ‘the coarse square of nuisance’ to battle one another each week—so to select one before they all die to permanently occupy the upper echelon of the knuckleheads, a position no rational person would ever envy.

These 4 share a common denominator; ignorance—and 3 claim to be Ashantis or have a strong connection with Kumasi, something they have to remind us anytime they are engaged in one of their numerous brutish verbal assaults.

“I will show you that I am an Ashanti or I will show you I lived in Kumasi” forms the basis of their bragging rights, and ironically, we recently heard Diamond Appiah throwing that line to Deloris Frimpong-Manso, who also happens to have a strong Ashanti/Kumasi connection.

Look, what’s so interesting about being an Ashanti on the battlefield of insults? I would have ran to adjust my lineage if such claims were attached to clever ideas.

If being an Ashanti accords you with a sharp tongue to swank when you have nothing to your name or to smirk in triumph on the battlefield of degrading words, then I pity all those who are proudly Ashanti.

I am sure there are several decent Ashantis out there but why don’t I hear any of these people flogging these swaggeringly irresponsible and studiedly obnoxious characters for their constant equating of being Ashanti to being a linguist of insults?

Interestingly, all these four are grown adults, capable of being my mother—I mean in biology and nothing else. Yet, they come off as though they are always drunk or inanely high.

But then again, it’s alleged they all have either smoke or alcohol problems—surely if we had rehab facilities in Ghana and if we were honest with our evaluations, these people would have been pushing the social media send bottons from inside one of these facilities.

Now let’s look at the linchpin of nuisance-Afia Schwarzenegger (real name Valentina Nana Agyeiwaa), and then follow it up with Deloris Frimpong Manso (Delay) , Mzbel (Nana Ekua Amoah) and Diamond Appiah—and you wouldn’t miss the entrenched similarities.

Afia Schwarzenegger is a real hustler, an alleged former prostitute with strong back in the day trade ties at Adabraka, Accra—with the lowest level of education in the square, loud-putrid mouth which is only great at dishing out insults.

She is great at sending out artillery of insults but very sensitive in handling any when she becomes the receiver—probably, she has not heard of back to sender.

To be fair to Afia, she has a lousy career as a TV/Radio Presenter, founded on her pathetic gruesome personality of insults—she calls it comedy, I call it “ignorance soaked in contempt.” It would be vile for people like Trevor Noah to share the same title with Afia Schwarzenegger, when you evaluate what they do.

Notwithstanding the above, she has what we can loosely call a job with two of our top media houses and has succeeded in gathering a good number of credulous followers on social media, probable, a high percentage of them have no college education and therefore cannot see through the smoke—no matter how light it is.

Afia Schwarzenegger’s entire career and popularity dwell on insane controversy—which explains why she is a strong pillar in the ‘Coarse Square of Nuisance.’

Deloris Frimpong-Manso popularly known as Delay is a polished version of Afia Schwarzenegger—in fact, this is where the loosely translated adage “a crab does not give birth to a bird” takes its full form.

The rivalry between Delay and Afia seems to come from the fact that one has been ungrateful to another—but in reality, it’s about their clashing disgusting similarities.

Just like Afia Schwarzenegger, Delay has little education and according to Diamond Appiah ‘she was mostly chasing banana with monkeys’ when others were in school. She is proudly Ashanti or lived in Kumasi for good length of time, at least so she claims.

And she has a loud mouth dedicated to dishing out insults and targeted innuendos, yet inept at taking a shot when sent her way.

Allegedly she sleeps with “big men” and even had to push her inflated butt above the table for a “sweating afternoon doggy” to secure her current radio job—according to Diamond Appiah.

She is also a TV/radio presenter—with several social media followers of equal identity to those who follower Afia Schwarzenegger; credulous and derisorily shallow.

Diamond Appiah is a defunct musician and the CEO of a bleaching cream outlet in a 21^st century Ghana—if this does not give you a clear picture of the sort of person we are dealing with here, then you need to close this page.

You can measure her intellect with the fact that she failed at doing music in Ghana’s unregulated music industry—where every chaff can become a hit over night.

A few years ago, it was alleged on GhanaCelebrities.Com that, Diamond Appiah was involved in a fraud case while in the UK—which fetched her an unexpected deportation to Kotoka International Airport.

The next on the ladder is Nana Ekua Amoah (Mzbel)—brainless non-bra wearing voluble “trickster” just like the others and currently, she has no career. Without anything to call a job, she spends a lot of time on social media where she mostly generates her controversies to hijack the headlines.

She also loves to take shots at others—but a little punch at her name from any person mostly sends her crying. Mzbel shares a common trait with all the above names: decency, self-respect and humility are the missing ingredients in their lives.

And of course, they can’t even find a man to call their own. Some of us will pity that man who would take a public interest in any of them—-maybe ‘God’ will do them a favour when they realize they’ve become money making machines for the newspapers and the blogs.

Did I mentioned that all the four are deep seated hypocrites who throw out the name of God on the same instagram pages where they sometimes proudly  show the entire world their ‘coochies’ or something close to that?

In their delusion, they are the Boss Chicks of Ghana’s Entertainment Industry; they define the news with their controversies and set the tone of the insults—when in reality, they are “the Coarse Square of Nuisance”, slickly taking us through each week with laughter and sometimes compelling us to ask: Are they really normal?

Maybe it’s time we pull the plug and cut the “square” off the headlines—we give these people too much attention, more than they would ever be worth. Enough of these grown a** adults talking slack at each other and snatching the headlines with that—we can do far better by redefining the conversation.